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Congress Makes A Breakthrough

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Randi Zuckerberg Posts Family Photo To Entire Universe

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Fortunately the photo was not of a “private” nature, or the entire universe would probably be blind.

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Harry And Mitch

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R.I.P.: Norman Schwarzkopf

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Chris Brown And Rihanna Seen Together At Christmas Lakers Game

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Obama Shortens Vacation To Address “Fiscal Cliff”

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R.I.P.: Jack Klugman

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After serving in the army in World War II Jack Klugman played roles in the Summer stock circuit before debuting on Broadway in a revival of “The Golden Boy”. Klugman also quickly established himself in the new medium of television starting with his 1950 appearance in “The Timid Guy” on Actors’ Studio. Numerous television roles followed including 3 episodes of Inner Sanctum in 1954, Appointment With Adventure in 1955 (his first appearance with Tony Randall). In 1957 he appeared in the film “12 Angry Men” with Henry Fonda. Klugman appeared in 4 episodes of The Twilight Zone between 1960 and 1963, starting with the memorable “A Passage For A Trumpet”.

Klugman continued to work regularly in television through the 1960s, with occasional film roles, until he was cast as slob Oscar Madison for The Odd Couple in 1970, where he appeared with lifelong friend Tony Randall for 114 episodes until 1975. Immediately after the end of that series he began Quincy M.E. about a Los Angeles medical examiner based loosely on Dr. Thomas Noguchi. The show ran through 1983.

During the 1980s Klugman suffered from throat cancer and lost his voice, but re-learned to speak in a raspy tone and continued working until shortly before his death.

Newsweek To End Print Publication

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No joke.

NRA’s LaPierre Says Put Armed Guards In Schools

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National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has called for armed guards in schools to protect children from gun violence like the recent Sandy Hook school massacre in Newton, Connecticut.

“You know, five years ago, after the Virginia Tech tragedy, when I said we should put armed security in every school, the media called me crazy,”  LaPierre said. “And here we are five years later and I’m still a batshit looney!”

The NRA has called for a wide-ranging “fight fire with fire” campaign, saying we should treat cancer by giving people more cancer, and we can cure congestion of the nation’s roadways by getting more people on the roads. LaPierre also called for more debt to fix the country’s current debt crisis, and suggested we could cure political gridlock by being even more fixated on divisive rhetoric designed only to play to a core constituency – say like gun owners, for example.

Boehner’s “Plan B” Fails To Get House GOP Support

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House Speaker John Boehner’s “Plan B” proposal to avoid automatic spending cuts and tax increases failed to get enough support from Republicans in the U.S. House Of Representatives to even be brought to a vote. The plan would have cut spending on government programs while raising taxes on those with income exceeding $1 million. In other words it was Boehner’s “Plan A” with the letter “B” instead of the letter “A”.

Gingrich Blames Secular Govt And Video Games For Gun Violence

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Former presidential candidate and current cipher Newt Gingrich stopped drinking and got dressed long enough to make a statement on a morning radio talk show that the massacre of children in Newton, Connecticut, was caused by a combination of “anti-religious secular” government and violent video games, and not by the mentally disturbed perpetrator’s easy access to a semi-automatic rifle.

Actually the morning talk show was Gingrich’s second stop Wednesday morning, right after he went to the bank to deposit a hefty check from the National Rifle Association.

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Obama To Announce New Gun Policy

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Zero Sum Game

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Clinton Cites Concussion To Avoid Benghazi Testimony

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Rice Withdraws From State Dept. Bid

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U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice has withdrawn her name from consideration for the post of Secretary of State in the aftermath of severe criticism from congressional Republicans over her testimony on the terrorist attacks on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Libya.

“We just don’t want another woman or another negro in the cabinet” said Senator John McCain, Rice’s most outspoken critic. “So we’ve killed two birds with one smear campaign. This is as close as we’ll get to beating the crap out of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.”

Some analysts think the Republicans have made a mistake in making Rice the scapegoat for the delayed reaction to the attacks on the U.S. mission in Benghazi, Libya, where Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans were killed. This seems to let Hillary Clinton off the hook in the debacle, and clears the way for her probable presidential run in 2016.

Bad Day For Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell thought he would lure Democrats into a trap that would make them lose a key vote on Thursday, but as it turned out Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid had set a little trap of his own.

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NC Pro-Life License Plates Unconstitutional

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This license plate design adopted by North Carolina has been declared unconstitutional by a federal judge because there is no alternative plate available for pro-choice drivers. North Carolina responded immediately with another design that not only provides an alternative but still manages to convey the spirit of the original message.

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Decisions Decisions

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It’s Beginning To Smell A Lot Like Christmas

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Opening Statements In “Sex Smell” Murder Trial Begin

Attorneys began presenting opening statements in the trial of a Pennsylvania woman charged with killing her boyfriend after allegedly “smelling sex” on him.

Rachel Kozloff is on trial for shooting Michael Henry. The prosecution contends Kozloff shot Henry when he tried to end their relationship. Prosecutors say the northwestern Pennsylvania woman told her boyfriend she had “smelled sex” on him before she killed him earlier this year. Kozloff and Henry were a couple for just 8 weeks.

Kozloff denies shooting Henry, though she does admit to being in his apartment on the night of the murder. Several 9mm shell casings were found at the scene, and Kozloff had purchased a .40 caliber handgun and a 9mm conversion kit earlier.

According to police, Henry’s last words as he died were “It’s Axe body spray….”

Iran Claims U.S. Drone Capture

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Iran claims it has captured a U.S. drone aircraft. Although no journalists or other outsiders have seen the drone, the Iranian government did provide the above authentic, unretouched photograph. The U.S. Navy says none of its unmanned aerial vehicles is missing – like they would admit it if one was.

Fox Announces New Reality Show

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Fox Entertainment has announced a new reality show that will debut in January. Called “Who Will Be Taylor Swift’s Next Boyfriend?” the show features 25 young male contestants who will engage in a series of non-competitive challenges involving running to limos, running into hotels, running toward private jets, running into awards ceremonies, and running for the exit when Swift tires of them in as little as two weeks.

The unique feature of the program is everyone wins – for about two weeks, anyway. That leaves two weeks a year for Swift to take a vacation.

Pope Approves New “Child-Friendly” Vatican

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His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI has approved a new design for the Vatican that incorporates new “child-friendly” features such as the Sandusky Chapel that has a painted ceiling showing Elmo reaching out to a pubescent Adam.

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“Elmo” Puppeteer Sued For Having Sex With A Minor