Idaho state Sen. John Goedde has proposed a law to make “Atlas Shrugged” required reading in the state’s schools. “Already millions of Americans think of Idaho as a refuge for neo-Nazis, survivalists, gun nuts, and bizarre religious cults – why not add that we’re a bunch of Randies to that?” Goedde said.
National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has called for armed guards in schools to protect children from gun violence like the recent Sandy Hook school massacre in Newton, Connecticut.
“You know, five years ago, after the Virginia Tech tragedy, when I said we should put armed security in every school, the media called me crazy,” LaPierre said. “And here we are five years later and I’m still a batshit looney!”
The NRA has called for a wide-ranging “fight fire with fire” campaign, saying we should treat cancer by giving people more cancer, and we can cure congestion of the nation’s roadways by getting more people on the roads. LaPierre also called for more debt to fix the country’s current debt crisis, and suggested we could cure political gridlock by being even more fixated on divisive rhetoric designed only to play to a core constituency – say like gun owners, for example.
A Hong Kong couple is suing former Harvard professor Mark Zimny after Zimny agreed to get their son into an elite Ivy-League university in return for over $2 million. Gerald and Lily Chow filed suit in U.S. District Court in Boston, claiming Zimny told them he would give the money to university authorities to gain admittance for the Chow’s son. Zimny denies the allegations.
“This is ridiculous!” Lily Chow said. “Forget the millions of dollars of bribe money! How could our boy fail to get into college, I mean he’s Asian for Christ’s sakes!”
Carlin was arrested on July 21, 1972, at Milwaukee’s Summerfest and charged with violating obscenity laws after performing this routine ["Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television"]. The case, which prompted Carlin to refer to the words for a time as “the Milwaukee Seven,” was dismissed in December of that year; the judge declared that the language was indecent but Carlin had the freedom to say it as long as he caused no disturbance.
The Seven Words are: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits.
Dan Savage, the founder of the “It Gets Better” anti-bullying campaign, is being criticized for comments he made at a journalism conference attended by high school students. Savage criticized the Bible, saying many things in it are “bullshit”. Offended Christians left the room.
Savage reportedly said: “We can learn to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about gay people — the same way we have learned to ignore the bullshit in the Bible about shellfish, about slavery, about dinner, about farming, about menstruation, about virginity, about masturbation. We ignore bullshit in the Bible about all sorts of things.”
Savage concluded his anti-Bible tirade with: “You can tell the Bible guys in the hall they can come back now because I’m done beating up the Bible. It’s funny as someone who is on the receiving end of beatings that are justified by the Bible how pansy-assed people react when you push back.”
When asked if his confrontational attitude might not be impeding his efforts to get his message across Savage retorted “I used to get beat-up because I’m gay – part of how it gets better is now I’m bigger and can do the ass-kicking!”
The Department of Education of New York City has a list of “sensitive words” it wants to ban from standardized tests. If the Department gets its way words such as “religion”, “dinosaur”, “Christmas”, and “birthday” will not be used in testing materials. It is not unusual for school boards and city departments to create such lists of banned words.
Other words NYC might consider banning are “reality”, “truth”, “knee-jerk”, “fear”, “dumbass”, “pussy liberal”, and “bureaucrat”. And words that might be particularly sensitive to New York City such as “urine”, “transvestite”, “corruption”, “cabbie”, “prostitutes”, and “Bloomberg”.