Mexico Weaponizes Salsa

NukeSalsa

UN calls for moratorium on SMD (sauces of mass destruction). President Obama says he was unaware of the deadly condiment until he saw it on the news. Karl Rove calls revelation the biggest disaster in his lifetime. House GOP vows to investigate the administration’s involvement with sending cilantro to Mexico City.

Iran Claims U.S. Drone Capture

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Iran claims it has captured a U.S. drone aircraft. Although no journalists or other outsiders have seen the drone, the Iranian government did provide the above authentic, unretouched photograph. The U.S. Navy says none of its unmanned aerial vehicles is missing – like they would admit it if one was.

Man Arrested For Dressing As Woman In Females-Only Park

Police in the United Arab Emirates arrested an Indian national in a females-only park, saying the man was dressed as a woman. The man was charged with violating “principles of public decency and societal customs and authentic Arab Islamic traditions,” although he got a few points for not having shaved his mustache as part of his disguise. However those points were taken back when it was discovered he had shaved elsewhere.