Marianne Gingrich Interview To Air On ABC

GOP candidate Newt "Pass Me A New Wife" Gingrich responds to the news that his ex-wife Marianne has done an interview on ABC's "Nightline" program.

Marianne Gingrich, the second ex-wife of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, has recorded an interview for ABC news that will air on the network’s “Nightline” program Thursday.

“The content is so explosive and profane we have to run it late at night. If kids were to hear this stuff they would probably bite their own wrists in an attempt to remove themselves from such a sick and disgusting world” an ABC spokesperson said.

The interview comes right after the wreck of the Costa Concordia cruise ship off the coast of Italy. “That’s no coincidence” an ABC insider reports. “The captain of the Costa Concordia, Francesco Schettino, figures in Mrs. Gingrich’s interview. You see, he was responsible for stranding Marianne on an island with six other people Gingrich wanted to get rid of. They just escaped from the island on a raft, and were picked-up by the Costa Concordia. It was coincidence that Schettino was commanding the cruise ship at the time, and wrecked it in an attempt to cover-up his and Newt Gingrich’s complicity in stranding the seven castaways.”

GraceLessLand has determined the people stranded on the island included another ship’s captain, his first mate, a millionaire and his wife, a movie star, a professor, and Marianne Gingrich. The others’ connection with Newt Gingrich is not known at this time, but they were apparently lured onto a small craft by the promise of a short tour, possibly as short as three hours in duration. Fortunately all the passengers brought enough luggage for a much longer voyage, or they might not have survived.

“It was batteries they screwed-up on” our source said. “They brought enough changes of clothes – thirty or forty of the exact same outfits – but there weren’t any batteries for the radio, the cell phones, the flash lights, and the GPS transponder they had with them. There were literally no phones, no lights, no motor cars – not a single luxury.”

What Did We Learn From The ABC New Hampshire Debate?

The six remaining GOP presidential hopefuls met for the first of two debates this weekend. Over 3,000 candidates have now dropped-out of the race.

The remaining candidates in the race for the Republican presidential nomination took to the stage in New Hampshire Saturday for a debate sponsored by ABC News. The questions came from Diane Sawyer, George Stephanopoulos, and some local guy with a phony announcer voice.

MITT ROMNEY: Romney is thoroughly enjoying being the front runner, but painfully aware that Rick Santorum is nipping at his heels. However, Romney seems confident, probably because his last name doesn’t make people think of anal sex. If Romney could wipe that stupid “waiting for my turn” grin off his face, and perhaps regulate his speech so he doesn’t sound like an over-eager school kid who knows the answer, he would actually be an attractive, plastic, run-of-the-mill candidate.

RICK SANTORUM: Santorum smiled for the first time since 2010. His face had visible cracks in it. He jousted with both Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul as he tried to downplay his lack of business experience and play up his experience as a Washington insider – which is probably not the best strategy to have.

RON PAUL: Paul stuck to his usual game plan: chip away at the others staid, old-school ideas while promoting his libertarian agenda as something fresh, and make incendiary accusations about his rivals and watch them trip all over themselves trying to respond. Unfortunately for Paul his libertarian ideas are about as fresh as a month-old dead catfish, and his Cliff Claven know-it-all attitude is starting to wear thin.

NEWT GINGRICH: Took some shots at Santorum and Romney, but mainly stayed with his strengths: sounding as if he actually knows what he’s talking about even if he really obviously doesn’t. Although his analysis of the mid-east situation was pretty realistic, his views on social issues and economics are prehistoric.

RICK PERRY: Perry made a lame attempt to mimic Gingrich’s obvious pandering to the religious right, as he said some inane b.s. about President Obama’s “war on Christianity”. Perry then took the big step and announced the end of his campaign when he said as President he would send troops back to Iraq. Game over. Thanks for playing.

GUY FROM UTAH: Whoever this guy is he seems to know a lot about China – which seems really suspicious. I mean he can even speak Chinese. He may be a spy.

We also learned that George Stephanopoulos can ask some pretty dumb hypothetical questions about candidates views on situations that don’t exist. Also Diane Sawyer has a fairly smarmy kindergarten teacher mannerism when asking a question, as if she doesn’t want anyone on the stage to feel any anxiety about having to answer.