Bill Clinton Delivers Arousing Nomination Speech

Former President Bill Clinton placed Barack Obama’s name in nomination at the Democratic National Convention Wednesday night in a rousing speech that had some delegates laughing, some crying, and most cheering. In a running “scorecard” Clinton listed statistics highlighting Obama’s accomplishments contrasted with his Republican opposition, who invariably came-out with a score of “zero”.

Of course Clinton used the same suspect numbers other Democrats have used in convention speeches, such as “4.5 million new jobs” – which isĀ sort-of but not actually true.

Bill Clinton Backtracks On Extending Bush Tax Cuts

Ex-President Bill Clinton apologized for making statements that sounded like an endorsement of extending Bush-era tax cuts on wealthy Americans. “I thought something had to be done right away – I forgot the first rule of being a politician in an election year: doing things is dangerous. Election years are a time to talk specifically about things your party has done that you know are popular with your voters, and speaking in sweeping generalities about the future. Under no circumstances do you actually do anything!”

Clinton looked tired as he made his recantation – as if he had been up all night being brow-beaten.

Ex-President Clinton Poses With Porn Stars

While his wife travels the globe representing the U.S. as Secretary of State, ex-president Bill Clinton spreads his own style of diplomacy by posing with “adult entertainment stars” in Monaco.

Anthony Weiner Calls Bill Clinton

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D – NY) called ex-president Bill Clinton to express his remorse over lying about “inappropriate” online relationships.

Clinton advised Weiner to be patient: “Look at what happened to me – if you just wait things will blow over. Sure things suck right now, and the media will chew you up and spit you out, but you just have to swallow your pride and take your licks.”

First The Good News

After the repeal of the Clinton-era “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy you can now openly serve in the military even though you are not a heterosexual.

Now the bad news:

After the repeal of the Clinton-era “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policy you can now openly die in the military even though you are not a heterosexual.

Just keeping things balanced….