Use A Towel!

We have Dish Network and so could not follow the elections on CNN, as they are no longer available due to a contract dispute. We tried to watch on Fox News, but couldn’t make anything out because of all the semen that was flying through the air in the studio.

Dr. Ablow Says World Cup Is Obama Conspiracy

(Click the image to read the full story at CrooksAndLiars.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CrooksAndLiars.com)

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Man Overboard!

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He Has The Credentials Fox News Wants

FuhrmanRacist

Killer Storms Continue To Attack Eastern U.S.

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Zimmerman Acquitted

HannityCoulter

 

Expect an orgy of self-congratulation and Geraldo saying he called it on the hoodie over at Pox News.

Fox Parent Company Knew Of Subpoena In 2010

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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DOJ Investigated Fox News Employee

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Fox News: Two Home Invaders Killed By Homeowner With Gun

Police released these images of the two dead suspects. (Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

Police released these images of the two dead suspects. (Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

Ann Coulter Says Gun Violence A “Demographic Problem”

CoulterGuns2

Republican centerfold and Fox News harlot Ann Coulter says gun violence is a “demographic problem”. Coulter suggests we need to take guns away from minorities but leave whites armed. But not all whites: obviously the poor ones can’t have guns because they’ll just sell them to buy health care.

Day After Election Fox News Implodes

Once the shock of President Barack Obama’s reelection wore-off at Fox News the grief set in. Pundit Bill O’Reilly blamed minorities, as did Dick “Dick” Morris, saying the “traditional America” is dead. Others at the unfair and bullshit news network blamed the rest of the media, especially for their coverage of hurricane Sandy because everyone knows any hurricane that makes landfall in the northeast instead of the south must be a liberal.

Palin Responds To Cheney Criticism

Former Vice President Dick “Dick” Cheney said on ABC that John McCain made a mistake in choosing 1/2 former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate in 2008. Cheney said “The test to get on that small list has to be, is this person capable of being president of the United States? …but based on her background — she had only been governor for two years — I don’t think she passed that test.”

Palin then appeared with Fox News’ Greta van Susteren and said she thought perhaps Cheney had bought into the opinion of the “lamestream media” in its biased and untrue reporting about her. “They said I only served two years, when actually it was nearly 25 full months!”

Zimmerman Interviewed By Hannity

George Zimmerman, the neighborhood watchman who shot and killed teenager Trayvon Martin in a nighttime confrontation in Florida, sat for an interview with Fox News’ Sean Hannity. In the interview Zimmerman said the tragic killing was part of “God’s plan”, and that he shot Martin because the young man was reaching for Zimmerman’s gun, essentially saying if he hadn’t had a gun there would have been no reason to shoot Martin.

This is the first time Zimmerman has mentioned having an accomplice, and police are looking for God as a “deity of interest”.

UPDATE: Apparently Zimmerman’s going rate for an interview is a month of “shelter and security”. We’re sure Hannity would have paid more (and may have).

Turn It Off!

Fox News Loves Poor People And Babies

….most when looking for someone to screw.

See what you can do when you cherry-pick one part of a statement? Just like Fox News ran the headline “Obama to business owners: ‘You didn’t build that’”. Except the full statement is:

“If you were successful, somebody along the line gave you some help. There was a great teacher somewhere in your life. Somebody helped to create this unbelievable American system that we have that allowed you to thrive. Somebody invested in roads and bridges. If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.”

Cable Rumor Networks

Sandusky Guilty On 45 Of 48 Charges

Fox News mouthpiece Sean Hannity picks-up the threads of the Jerry Sandusky verdict and weaves them into a quilt of stupidity.

Rivera’s Injury May End His Career

Geraldo Rivera has suffered a life-threatening news injury that may spell the end of his long and varied career. “It’s about as bad as it can be for a newsman, and especially for this newsman” said Fox News president Roger Ailes. “It’s a torn mustache – a very bad tear and it doesn’t look like the mustache can be saved.”

Tucker Carlson Berates The NAACP

Fox News contributor Tucker Carlson made an appearance on the Sean Hannity program to vent his hatred of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. Carlson called the venerated civil rights organization "a sad joke that should be shut down", "an absurd fringe group", and "pathetic".

Why I Love Social Networking

THE PETITION (the original post):

http://act.colorofchange.org/sign/tof_pledge/

THE COMMENTS (aggregated from a single poster):

If you take this “pledge”
You should also renounce the
ABC, CBS, NBC, MSNBC, CNN, NPR, AlterNet, DailyKos, MoveOn, MMFA
sites.

FoxNews versus all those is unfair to FoxNews, right?

If FoxNews is bad, the others are far worse!

. . .

Petitions scare the nonsense out of politicians, some companies and people.
5000 signatures make uninformed {people,companies,politicians} change their views.
Backbone, therein, is missing.

Witness the Voter ID issues ALEC has experienced.
ALEC has no moral fiber.

Voter ID laws only ask a voter to absolutely identify
himself or herself. Were you a precinct voter volunteer,
what, EXACTLY, would you require of a voter to
ACCURATELY identify that voter?

I think a Voter ID is PROFOUNDLY obvious to any who
does not have an alternative agenda.

. . .

All “pledges” must provide logic AND clarity, or they only summon the mob.
You know that!

This “pledge” summons the mob — “the mob” is a TRUE representation of
Bullying – a.k.a. HATE.

The “pledge” provides no logic, ethics or justification for the majority of
Americans to support it.

THE RESPONSE:

By your reasoning, [poster's name] , the Pledge of Allegiance is invalid as it involves pledging one’s allegiance to a flag (an inanimate object) rather than the actual nation (a political and social ideal), which is illogical, and it invokes a supreme being whose existence cannot be proven.

Voter ID laws are unconstitutional as they presume all citizens will have some form of ID, and there are citizens who refuse to do so for ideological, political, and even religious reasons. And that has nothing to do with illegal immigrants or racism.

“Moral fiber” just makes you shit opinions and is irrelevant to any discussion of “logic” and “clarity”.

I do agree about swearing-off using any American media outlets, though. Any so-called “news source” that is dependent on advertising and corporate sponsors for its existence is untrustworthy. That’s why I get most of my news from the BBC and (ironically) Al Jazeera. Neither engages in American-style “press release” journalism. They actually investigate and report. And they have no patriotic political agenda to color their reporting on the U.S. to make us look like the world’s “good guys”: the fact that we are right now going through scandals involving prostitutes in Colombia, and soldiers posing with body parts in Afghanistan, invalidates that mythos. Although really all you need to do is look at the history of our foreign policy to accomplish that.

I truly do love this country, but I really hate most of the assholes who have run it and are running it. And the behavior of our business community is, historically, beneath contempt. Most of the average people who live here are pretty good people though. Except for Ted Nugent. That guy’s a dick.

Gingrich Disses Fox News, Talks-Up CNN

Soon-to-be ex-presidential candidate Newt "Who Needs Me Now?" Gingrich said Fox News has been biased against him throughout his campaign, while "Callista and I both believe CNN is less biased than Fox this year".

Geraldo Says Wearing Hoodie Is “Asking” To Get Shot

Geraldo Rivera of Fox News says a black man wearing a hoodie is "asking for it". The controversial sub-journalist was remarking on the shooting of Trayvon Martin, 17, by a neighborhood watch volunteer in Sanford, Florida in February.

Obama Says He Doesn’t Want High Gas Prices

At a recent press conference Fox News correspondent Ed Henry asked President Obama how he would respond to criticism that he wants gas prices to increase.

A Quick Refresher On Eric Bolling

Any questions?

What Did We Learn From The Fox News/South Carolina Debate?

The five remaining GOP presidential candidates articulate their separate foreign policies at the Fox News debate in South Carolina Monday.

Here are some salient points picked up from the latest Republican debate presented by Fox News just prior to the South Carolina primary election:

MITT ROMNEY: Has gotten really good at answering the question about being a “vulture capitalist”. He can now make raping a punch-drunk company sound like making sweet, sweet love.

RICK PERRY: Has apparently changed his medication because several times during the debate he did an excellent impression of thinking quickly. Of course he wasn’t – someone in the audience was giving him hand signals.

RICK SANTORUM: Is getting his feisty on. A couple of times he led Mitt Romney right into the corner where he sucker punched him with embarrassingly moderate moments from Romney’s record.

NEWT GINGRICH: Has some kind of deal with Juan Williams that when the crowd is against Newt Juan will act like an angry black liberal and give Newt the opportunity to make a stirring speech about just how and why minorities are inferior. The crowd ended by giving him a standing ovation.

RON PAUL: Still hasn’t learned to keep from saying things Republicans don’t want to hear, like it may not only be illegal but morally wrong for the U.S. to simply go into other countries and assassinate people. Which brings us to the main thing we learned here….

Republicans love to kill! Killing people, especially foreigners in foreign countries, got the biggest standing ovation of the evening. Everyone except Ron Paul said loud and clear they think the United States has the right to go anywhere, any time, for any reason, and kill anyone we want. Romney as much as declared war on just about everyone, including citizens of the U.S. who are suspected of terrorist sympathies. So it was a good night for saber rattling and testicle shaking.

Goldline Charged With Fraud

Goldline's Web site features endorsements from some top media stars, and Mark Levin.

Goldline International, Inc. has been charged by the Santa Monica city attorney with “bait and switch” tactics, the Los Angeles Times reports (and coincidentally the story has an ad for Goldline embedded in it). The charges state that Goldline advertised the sale of gold bullion, but then convinced customers to buy gold coins at a huge mark-up over market cost.

Goldline has long been represented by media personalities such as Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and some guy named Mark Levin. Financial gurus like Bernie Madoff and Michael Milken also call the company “a solid source of income for myself”.

While Fox News would be the first to call for the resignation of journalists in the liberal media, say at CNN, who associated themselves with fraudulent business activities, no one expects the same standard to apply to Fox’s own commentators. “We’ve been reporting fake news for years, so what’s the big deal?” asked Fox head Roger Ailes.

Latest Health Threat

Fox News is now required to carry this health warning whenever "Fox and Friends" anchor Gretchen Carlson is on-screen.

Tea Party Thinking About A Boehner Enema

The Tea Party isn’t pleased with Boehner’s behind-the-scenes attempts to squirm out of driving the country to the poor house.

A screen grab from FoxNews.com.

FoxNipple.com

Anyone who has the stomach to visit FoxNews.com on a regular basis knows they prominently feature more T&A than all other news sites combined. It’s just another of those Fox Features that says “tabloid” in large bleeding letters. But I think we may have reached a milestone of sorts. Today, FoxNews.com ran its “Fox 411″ gossip column with a story about one of Charlie Sheen’s professional girlfriends appearing in Playboy magazine.

This is a screen grab of the "Fox 411" column about ex-Charlie Sheen "goddess" Bree Olson's appearance in Playboy. Two sections of the article are set side-by-side in this otherwise un-mucked-with image.

It’s the shot on the right that puts Fox over-the-top here: that’s real pink nipple you see under her diaphanous raiment. Here’s a stunning close-up:

The fine little pucker-button in question.

Now is one little nipple a big deal on the porn-drenched Internet? Not really – unless it appears on a site that has about a dozen conservative pundits who invoke their diamond-hard belief in “family values” about 80 times a day.

I once kept statistics on the amount of tits and ass on FoxNews.com as compared with CNN, ABC,NBC,CBS, and PBS. Fox ran nearly SIX TIMES more boobs-’n-buns than the closest competitor (CNN) over the course of a month. The reason why is obvious: people aren’t going to a media outlet featuring the likes of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly for the intellectual stimulation.

Ron Paul Says He Won’t Run For Re-election To Congress

Rep. Ron Paul (R - Texas) announces he will not seek re-election to congress as he pursues the 2012 GOP presidential candidacy.