Tag Archives: Republicans

Apr 22 2013

George W. Endorses Jeb

(Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

Former President George W. Bush says his brother Jeb is the best candidate for president in 2016. “He’s got a proven track record. He was a governor of a big state. He’s very articulated. He bends at the elbows and waist.”

Bush made the comments on the eve of the opening of his presidential library – the first library that will contain no written material.

Jan 28 2013

Virginia Bill To Cut Funding For Abortions Of Deformed Fetuses

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Virginia Senator Tom Garrett (R – Lynchburg) has introduced a bill into the state General Assembly that will cut state funding for abortions when a “fetus will be born with a gross and totally incapacitating physical deformity or with a gross and totally incapacitating mental deficiency”.

Garrett feels strongly about this issue because, in his words “under that ‘mental deficiency’ stipulation I myself might never have been born!”

Jan 17 2013

Stockman Hates Obama Announcement In Advance

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Rep. Steve Stockman (R – Texas) has announced that President Obama’s actions are unconstitutional and impeachable a full day before Obama announced any of his actions. Later Stockman compared Obama to Iraqi dictator Sadaam Hussein in a bid to continue his calm and reasoned response to new gun control measures. Even Fox News harridan Greta Van Susteren called the comparison “a stretch” – and if you’re making Greta look smart, you know you’re hitting the ball out of the moron stadium.

StockmanSadaam

Jan 16 2013

Ann Coulter Says Gun Violence A “Demographic Problem”

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Republican centerfold and Fox News harlot Ann Coulter says gun violence is a “demographic problem”. Coulter suggests we need to take guns away from minorities but leave whites armed. But not all whites: obviously the poor ones can’t have guns because they’ll just sell them to buy health care.

Jan 3 2013

Senate, House Pass Biden-McConnell Fiscal Cliff Deal

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The Senate and the House of Representatives have passed a landmark plan to avoid the dreaded “fiscal cliff” that loomed up with the new year. Brokered in the 11th hour by Vice President Joe Biden and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, the deal allows Bush-era tax cuts on those earning over $450k to expire, while putting-off spending cuts until later in 2013. The deal is widely seen as a huge win for President Barack Obama.

When it became apparent that any deal would involve raising taxes House Speaker John Boehner stepped back as if he were facing a snake and insisted that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have to take-up the negotiations. When it became apparent that any deal would include spending cuts Reid ran and hid like a frightened child.

That left McConnell, who is being sacrificed to the wrath of conservatives, and Biden, who really has nothing to lose at this point.

“My career is essentially over anyway” McConnell said. “After something like twenty terms in the Senate I was going to retire after this one, anyway – so I might as well take it in the neck so that chicken-shit Boehner can say he had nothing to do with this.”

Dec 21 2012

Boehner’s “Plan B” Fails To Get House GOP Support

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House Speaker John Boehner’s “Plan B” proposal to avoid automatic spending cuts and tax increases failed to get enough support from Republicans in the U.S. House Of Representatives to even be brought to a vote. The plan would have cut spending on government programs while raising taxes on those with income exceeding $1 million. In other words it was Boehner’s “Plan A” with the letter “B” instead of the letter “A”.

Dec 20 2012

Gingrich Blames Secular Govt And Video Games For Gun Violence

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Former presidential candidate and current cipher Newt Gingrich stopped drinking and got dressed long enough to make a statement on a morning radio talk show that the massacre of children in Newton, Connecticut, was caused by a combination of “anti-religious secular” government and violent video games, and not by the mentally disturbed perpetrator’s easy access to a semi-automatic rifle.

Actually the morning talk show was Gingrich’s second stop Wednesday morning, right after he went to the bank to deposit a hefty check from the National Rifle Association.

Dec 14 2012

Rice Withdraws From State Dept. Bid

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U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice has withdrawn her name from consideration for the post of Secretary of State in the aftermath of severe criticism from congressional Republicans over her testimony on the terrorist attacks on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Libya.

“We just don’t want another woman or another negro in the cabinet” said Senator John McCain, Rice’s most outspoken critic. “So we’ve killed two birds with one smear campaign. This is as close as we’ll get to beating the crap out of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.”

Some analysts think the Republicans have made a mistake in making Rice the scapegoat for the delayed reaction to the attacks on the U.S. mission in Benghazi, Libya, where Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans were killed. This seems to let Hillary Clinton off the hook in the debacle, and clears the way for her probable presidential run in 2016.