Bill Nye Calls Creationism Inappropriate

The world’s most respected scientist, Bill Nye The Science Guy, appears in a video called “Creationism Is Not Appropriate For Children“. In the video Nye says “Your world just becomes fantastically complicated if you don’t believe in evolution”, and claims the United States is the main country where people deny the fact of evolution.

Curiosity Rover Lands Safely On Mars!

In a break with established tradition NASA didn’t screw up Sunday night and safely landed the new $2.5 billion Curiosity rover on Mars. In a picture-perfect operation the complex landing procedure that everyone said was sure to fail didn’t, and didn’t fail spectacularly. The rover sent its first images back Earth within minutes of touching down.

NASA’s Curiosity Rover To Attempt Mars Landing

You can watch live on various sources at 10:31 pm Pacific time Sunday / 1:31 am Eastern time Monday. Well – not really because there’s no one there to point a camera at it – but you can see the look on the NASA guy’s faces when it craters.

SpaceX Private Spacecraft Launch Scrubbed

The launch of the SpaceX private spacecraft, scheduled to dock with the International Space Station, was called-off in its final seconds due to a problem with the rocket motor. SpaceX is NASA’s private enterprise answer to hitching rides on Russian spacecraft, which is not only embarrassing but scary.

Large Hadron Collider Discovers New Particle

Scientists working at the Large Hadron Collider announced they have discovered a new particle.

Scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at the CERN institute in Switzerland have announced the discovery of a new particle, though not the much sought-after Higgs boson – the fundamental particle that imparts mass.

“It’s even better” the team said. “The neutral Xi_b^star baryon is even more useful than the Higgs. The Higgs would merely lead to the ability to manipulate gravity, but this new particle is thought to be responsible for hair loss and male impotence! The benefits to mankind in controlling this particle are almost unlimited! It totally justifies the enormous cost of building the collider!

Scientists Claim Giant Cannibal Shrimp Are Invading U.S.A.

Sightings of the massive Asian tiger shrimp, which can eat their smaller cousins, were 10 times higher in 2011 than in 2010. The giant cannibal shrimp can grow to be 12 inches long and thirst for fresh blood. They are amphibious and like to hunt out of the water at night for what they jokingly refer to as "landfood".

Signals Detected From Distant Planet

And artist's rendering of the newly detected planet around a distant star.

NASA scientists have revealed they have detected signals from a small blue planet around a distant star. The inhabitants of the planet call it Kolob, and call themselves Mormos. Other than this the signals have as yet been undecipherable.

Researchers Hack Voting Machines

Innocent voting machines like this one may be subject to hacking for as little as $26.00, as demonstrated by researchers.

Computer scientists have demonstrated several ways to hack electronic voting machines. “It’s easy and cheap, and you can control the machines by remote from miles away” said one anonymous hacker working for the Republican Party Voter Fraud Development Labs in Fort Leavenworth, Kansas.

“We’re going to sue!” cried another researcher from the Democrat Social Realignment Via Electronic Direct Action group based in San Quentin, California. “We pioneered this technique right after the Florida elections in 2000!”

The Final Shuttle Landing

The space shuttle Atlantis touched-down on a runway in Florida at 2:59 am Pacific time this morning – the last time one of the shuttle fleet will do so. The fleet flew for 30 years: the first launch of a shuttle into orbit took place April 12, 1981.

The U.S.S.R. launched Sputnik 1, the first artificial satellite to reach Earth orbit, on October 4, 1957, and it burned-up on re-entry on January 4, 1958. The first U.S. satellite, Explorer 1, was launched on January 31, 1958. The word “aerospace” was supposedly coined on February 2. The U.S. Congress created the National Aeronautics and Space Administration on July 29, and NASA launched its first satellite, Pioneer 1, on October 11.

I was born on the last day of 1958. So, the U.S. space program and myself are about the same age. I was one of those kids that read science fiction stories about space travel. I followed the space program the way other kids followed baseball. I watched the first Apollo Moon landing on TV on July 20, 1969 (along with about 500 million other people). I watched the first shuttle launch on TV in a college classroom in ’81. And a few minutes ago I watched the last shuttle landing on TV – satellite TV.

Now I wonder – will I see U.S. astronauts go back into space in my lifetime?

Government Paid For Gay Penis Study

A study of the effect of penis size on gay men’s sex lives and health that was funded in part by the Federal Government is being cited as an example of tax dollar waste by the Traditional Values Coalition.

“This country is broke and we cannot spend money on this kind of stuff,” said Andrea Lafferty, president of the Coalition. “This is just another example of the liberal gay agenda that is taking our country toward socialism. Why wasn’t a study done on the effect of penis size on heterosexual sex? Now there’s something we should be spending money on! But to save money we should engage volunteers to collect information. I’d volunteer.”

“The data were not collected using taxpayer funds,” Jeffrey Parsons, a professor with Hunter College, said in an email. “National Institutes of Health funds were not used to measure anyone’s penis size. I spent my own money on that. And it cost a lot in spotting guys drinks and on motel rooms, let me tell you.”

A similar study on the effect of “butt-cheek tension” was also cited by the TVC as an example of “institutional waste”.

U.S. Nuclear Plants Threatened By Floods, Wild Fires

NRC spokesmen claim flooding around a Nebraska nuclear power plant poses no threat.

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission is downplaying disaster threats to U.S. nuclear plants in Nebraska and New Mexico. They claim there is no similarity to the disaster at the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan.

“In Japan there was an earthquake followed by a flood of seawater. In Nebraska there was no earthquake and the plant is being flooded with fresh water – totally different thing. Unless the water gets higher than say two feet and two inches inches. Then it will pour into the containment vessels and you’ll see massive explosions and melt-downs that will sterilize the entire state. But there is absolutely no chance the water will exceed the safe depth.”

Nebraska disaster response officials say the water surrounding the plant is at two feet, with more rain on the way.

This nuclear plant at Los Alamos, New Mexico is in the path of raging wildfires - but an NRC spokesman says the flames won't get close enough to be a threat.

Meanwhile, in New Mexico, another nuclear plant at Los Alamos is surrounded by raging wildfires. Again an NRC spokesman says there is nothing to worry about. “This isn’t anything like Japan, where they had an earthquake, a flood, and then major fires at the Fukushima plant. There were no earthquakes or floods here. Earthquakes and flooding are the real problems – I mean the fire would have to completely consume that plant, and to do that there would have to be high temperatures combined with high wind – and what are the chances of that?”

The New Mexico weather service has predicted high temperatures combined with wind will sweep the state for the next several days.

Study Finds BPA Turns Mice Gay

After a lifetime of swilling soda from BPA-lined cans this mouse no longer wants to explore or mate.

A study conducted at the University of Missouri–Columbia has found that male deer mice exposed to bisphenol A in the womb show signs of “demasculinization” and are less attractive to female deer mice. Bisphenol A, or BPA, is a chemical compound found in some hard plastics and can linings.

“The males were unable to navigate a maze and were ignored by females. They also seemed inordinately fond of watching reruns of ‘Sex In The City’ and Kathy Griffin and Margaret Cho specials on cable” said Cheryl Rosenfeld, Ph.D., the lead author of the study and an associate professor of biomedical sciences at the University. “And Justin Bieber! God, don’t ask about their response to Justin Bieber!”

IATA Unveils “Checkpoint Of The Future”

The International Air Transport Association unveiled a mock-up of what it calls the “Security Checkpoint Of The Future”. The high-tech station will herd travelers into one of three security lanes depending on how much information is available about them.

The IATA "Checkpoint Of The Future" features three security levels that aren't in any way based on profiling.

Whale Sharks Hook-Up Off The Coast Of Mexico

Scientists suspect the reason is an abundance of the tiny creatures these huge fish feed on.

Whale sharks eat only tiny sea creatures like shrimp and plankton - they would never touch a dead terrorist.