Republicans Vote To Increase Debt To Historic Levels

By a solid majority the Republican House of Representatives voted to approve the latest debt ceiling increase, allowing the United States to borrow trillions more and go even deeper into debt than ever before in history. Fiscally responsible Democrats tried to defeat the bill but had no chance in the GOP-dominated House – and may have to pass the bill through the Senate even though they have a slim majority there, due to Republican threats of reprisals on future legislation.

So-called “Tea Party” Republicans were dancing in the streets around the country to celebrate their victory over liberals by passing legislation that may someday cut spending by some token amount while increasing debt almost infinitely, thus guaranteeing the advent of a fiscal apocalypse and bringing their ultra-rightist prophets predictions of economic doom to fulfillment.

Liberals all over the country were downcast as their attempts to inject some economic responsibility into government finances were swept away by the landslide GOP vote in the House. “It’s spend, spend, spend, baby!” House Speaker John Boehner announced as the final vote was tallied. “Cocaine and hookers for everyone!”

House GOP: No Vote On Boehner Debt Plan

The Republican caucus of the U.S. House of Representatives has called-off a vote on House Speaker John Boehner’s debt reduction plan at the last possible second when it became clear there isn’t enough Republican support to pass the bill. GOP representatives have scheduled a meeting for Friday morning at which Boehner is expected to continue to cry like a little baby as he begs and pleads with his own party not to abandon him to the wrath of the ultra-right-wing “Tea Party” splinter of the Republican party.

A teary-eyed John Boehner meets with journalists after the announcement that the vote on his debt reduction plan has been cancelled.