Now Bill Gates Wants To Control The Weather

According to CNN, Bill Gates has applied for several patents intended to slow-down hurricanes as they approach land. “We’ve found a way to run the weather on Windows” Gates said at a press conference. “We estimate this will take 75% of the power right out of things like hurricanes, slowing them to a crawl.” When asked how secure this new weather system would be, Gates said “Hey, it’s Windows – what could go wrong?”

The only hitch in the plan is the need to build a laptop 8,000 miles wide, with a backlit display as large as the sky. Dell is said to be in negotiations to provide the hardware.

10 comments on “Now Bill Gates Wants To Control The Weather

  1. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid! Hurricanes, while destructive, are one of nature’s safety valves. They dissipate energy taken up from the sun and are vital to the planets seasonality. Man cannot master nature. Every time he tries, he is met with serious and unexpected consequences.

    There is only one way to lessen the danger to human life that hurricanes pose: move people away from the immediate coast. It is interesting that that the Native Americans, who lived on our Atlantic coastline for millennia, never built permanent structures or villages on the shoreline. They knew better.

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  2. >>never built permanent structures or villages on the shoreline<<

    Maybe they just couldn't afford the beachfront property.

    -tAE-

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  3. I guess it was just a matter of time before some rich person tries to control the weather (and the world) lol

    To the guy who left a comment about the native americans
    “Maybe they just couldn’t afford the beachfront property”

    The Native Americans were able 2 live where ever the hell they wanted to….until the Europeans arrived and screwed everything up they had going.

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    • Yes – and you’ll notice which property the natives foisted-off on the stupid white people first.

      They thought they were getting such a deal for the Eastern Seaboard, until the end of that first Summer. Then they wanted their beads back, and the natives said “nope – deal’s a deal”.

      -tAE-

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  4. Katrina would have not caused but a fraction of the damage if it weren’t for the leavies breaking. Another example that humas cannot / will not ever control the power of mother nature. Mother nature WILL reclaim that piece of land. It’s just a matter of time. Silly humans…trying to control hurricanes…

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  5. wouldnt it be cheaper if every year we tow down a huge island size glacier and let it float around in the cgulf. or if its the sun that warms the waters in that area, why not create a giant shield in space anchered to earth so it covers part of the sun rays over the gulf. what gates propses is kinda dumg really, at least dumber then my ideas.

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    • That could only be a temporary solution – the glaciers and ice caps are all melting because we’ve screwed-up the weather.

      -tAE-

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  6. also if there have been hurricanes for years in certain areas why live there, how dumb, every area has its issues but not yearly, like there. its a giant swamp after all, people should live on house boats and float to another area during these times.

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    • This is how I feel about Los Angeles. It was a desert before they started importing everyone else’s water. If you’re going to live in a desert you should either move or die of thirst.

      -tAE-

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