Obama Enrages Conservatives, Tells Kids To “Stay In School”

President Barack Obama addressed quite a few of the nation’s students Tuesday, telling them to “stay in school and work hard”. Conservative opponents immediately fired back “I don’t want that commie negro telling MY kids to stay in school and work hard. This is AMERICA and if my kids want to drop out or be slackers, damnit that’s their God-given right!”

Thousands of irate Republican parents pulled their children out of schools and swore they would “never return. Not as long as some Godless commie socialist liberal scum in the White House wants them to!”. School per diem income dropped dramatically, with some states saying they would have to raise taxes to make up the shortfall.

The President managed to avoid any controversial statements in his address to students

The President managed to avoid any controversial statements in his address to students

Obama told the students “This isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.”

“Right there he’s indoctrinating them into his leftist ideology” one conservative parent said. “You heard it: ‘this isn’t just important for your own life’ – that’s pure commie-talk right there, telling them to think about others, and the future, and un-American stuff like that! Where would this country be if our forefathers had spent time thinking of others, instead of their own property rights and upper-class prerogatives? Why, hell, probably nobody would be poor!”

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