People love to play FarmVille, mainly because it requires no thought at all and is much easier than real life. Here are the primary differences between FarmVille and reality:
- In real life pigs do not shit truffles. They are slaughtered and turned into bacon. FarmVille would be a lot more fun if it worked like real life.
- In real life gas costs more but lasts longer. And people don’t go around giving each other cans of gas as gifts – it’s far too precious to give away.
- Real life has weather, insects, fungi, and droughts. FarmVille has “withering”, and you can even get around that by spending money.
- In real life all the actual work is done by poor people from other countries who are kept in line by the constant threat of deportation.
- In real life animals poop, pee, have wanton barnyard sex, and die at the drop of a hat. There are hugely expensive vet bills because animals can’t get health insurance, either.
- In real life no one is making money by brushing their cat. There are no cat-fur sweaters. If there were PETA would be up in arms about it.
- In real life farmers use lots of really dangerous, poisonous, cancer-causing chemicals so the food you buy at the supermarket will all be of uniform size, color, and texture, as if that mattered at all.
- In real life the government would pay us to plant nothing.
- In real life most of our farms would be in Central and South America where there aren’t so many pesky taxes, laws, and health and safety regulations. See above about chemicals.
- In real life we’d be able to plant marijuana and make some real money.