Brad Pitt Wants Death Penalty For BP Execs

Brad Pitt continues the tradition of actors being idiots with his suggestion that the recent British Petroleum oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico may warrant the death penalty.  Topping such luminaries of stupidity as Ronald Reagan and Gopher from “The Love Boat”, Pitt said “I was never for the death penalty before; I am willing to look at it again”.

Until now no one knew Pitt had the final say on the death penalty. “Oh, sure – that one’s mine,” he told one reporter. “I do the death penalty, Angelina decides which little kids starve, Ted Danson has thumbs up or down on the whales, and Pauly Shore controls human perspiration.”

Pitt said he hasn’t yet decided how the BP executives will die. “I’m looking at drowning them in oil, of course – that has a nice ‘eye-for-an-eye’ feel to it. Or we might just lock them in a theater and force them to watch ‘Mr. And Mrs. Smith’ until their brains leak out their ears.”

Brad Pitt wears sunglasses to prevent people from seeing through the empty windows of his eyes and into his brainless skull.


One comment on “Brad Pitt Wants Death Penalty For BP Execs

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