Obama Attacked During Basketball Game

President Barack Obama was attacked during a “friendly” basketball game Friday. The President was hit in the mouth by an “errant” elbow. Alert Secret Service agents immediately wrestled the elbow to the ground.

After being rushed to a nearby hospital the President received stitches on his lower lip. The number of stitches is unknown. A doctor at the hospital, speaking under condition of anonymity, revealed “they got to him just in time. A mouth injury can be fatal for a politician”.

A group purported to be “friends and family” of the President were present at the scene of the attack. They were taken to an undisclosed place for interrogation.

Secret Service agents surround the President after an unprovoked attack at a basketball game. Administration officials would not rule-out the possibility of terrorism.

Republicans Get Biggest House Win Since 1940s

The Republican party has completely dominated Democrats with their win with 239 of the 435 seats in the House of Representatives. Unlike their Democrat predecessors they won’t be afraid to use their power to rape and pillage the government and people of the U.S. If you thought the Huns were bad news you haven’t seen anything yet.

Representative John Boehner (pronounced "Boner") reveals his plans as the next House Speaker.