Palin Says She Can Win A National Election

Just not in the United States.

Sarah Palin gives two big thumbs up to her chances of winning a national election.

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Mr. And Mrs. Prince William Visit L.A.

Prince William reassures a commoner that it's not her fault she's inferior.

Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine the Great Piece of Tail visited Los Angeles where they hobnobbed with film stars, played in a charity polo match, dined at exclusive restaurants, and spent just short of an hour enduring a visit to a Skid Row children’s center.

At one point Wills actually touched a poor child, but his hand was encased in a special “micro-derm” rubber glove that is nearly invisible but still effective at keeping the poverty off of him. The unfortunate young girl was instantly impregnated, however, since royal DNA cannot be contained by any substance known to man (and unfortunately for them, woman).

Between them the Prince and his Mrs. were wearing enough expensive clothing and jewelry to feed all the children the room until they graduate from college – which just her shoes would have covered if auctioned on EBay.

Upon leaving Skid Row in their armor plated Rolls Royce a huge sigh of relief was heard and the windows of the limo steamed up.