Boehner Walks On Debt Talks At Last Minute

House Majority Leader John Boehner (R – Ohio) called-off debt talks with President Obama, rejecting a compromise deal at the last minute Friday. Obama said he felt Boehner had “left [him] at the altar”, though no one suspected that a marriage proposal was part of the deal – though this could explain the President’s recent change of policy on same-sex marriage.

Just before the latest round of talks Boehner announced that a deal had to be made today, as any legislation to raise the national debt ceiling must be posted Monday for a House vote by Wednesday. He says the Wednesday deadline is necessary because his party “is going to pull every dirty procedural trick in the book to bog the thing down in the Senate – just to be a bunch of pricks.”

House Speaker John Boehner has just one more little condition before agreeing to a debt reduction deal.

Wendi Deng, Kung-Fu Spouse

Wendi Deng-Murdoch’s valiant slap-down of a shaving-cream-pie-wielding assailant wasn’t the first time she used her David Carradinesque kung-fu moves to protect her billionaire-media-magnate husband Rupert Murdoch. (Hang-on, I’m hyphen-ventilating….okay, to continue….) Below is a photo taken of the couple sometime prior to the pie incident:

Note that while Murdoch seems to be unaware of the katana-wielding assassin behind him, Ms. Deng has her left ear strategically unobstructed by her hair.

Hearing the faint swishing of the razor-sharp blade as it cut a deadly arc through the air, she turned in a lightning-fast reflex to the threat, grasped the attacker’s wrist, and deftly flung him over her shoulder and to the floor where bodyguards proceeded to kick him to death. It’s unfortunate that her incredibly swift actions were too fast for the camera to capture.