Voter Fraud Alleged In San Francisco Mayoral Race

Supporters of incumbent Mayor Ed Lee are accused of illegally handling vote-by-mail ballots.

Allegations of ballot tampering are hanging over supporters of incumbent San Francisco mayor Ed Lee. Individuals who claim to have witnessed the tampering say Lee’s supporters set-up a make-shift “booth” in the city’s China Town district, where they not only filled-out vote-by-mail ballots for elderly Chinese voters, but used “stencils” to mask the names of other candidates.

It is in fact possible that some of the elderly Chinese voters might have voted for someone other than an incumbent who is Chinese. After all, it is also possible the Moon might explode tomorrow and cover the Earth in melted cheese. If you can have one, you can have the other.

Pat Robertson Criticizes GOP Campaign Rhetoric

The Reverend Pat Robertson criticized Republican candidates for espousing extremist views, saying “Those people in the Republican primary have got to lay off of this stuff. They’re forcing their leaders, the frontrunners, into positions that will mean they lose the general election.”

This is like if Hannibal Lecter advised someone to become a vegan.

Speaking during a segment of his “700 Club” television program, Robertson said he doesn’t disagree with extreme right-wing views on issues like same-sex marriage, immigration, health care, taxation, and rounding-up liberals and herding them into “re-education camps” – he just knows from experience that the majority of Americans don’t agree with them.

“It’s really what wrecked my campaigns for President” Robertson reflected. “When I say things like the Teletubbies are gay, or Haitians suffered a devastating earthquake because they’re into voodoo and made a pact with Satan, you can actually see the majority of people turn away in disgust.”

Robertson offered some strategic advice to the candidates: “Hide your real opinions and concentrate on getting elected. Then, once you’re in power, you can go as crazy as you want. I mean, who’s gonna stop you? The President controls the military!”