Romney Wins, All Others Lose In New Hampshire

GOP front-runner Mitt Romney checks his campaign strategy after a solid win in the New Hampshire Republican primary.

Mitt Romney easily won the New Hampshire Republican primary with 40% of the vote, making the former Massachusetts governor 2-for-2 in the race for the GOP presidential nomination, with only 48 more states to go.

A combination of tough campaigning, appealing to moderate New Hampshirans, and not being Newt Gingrich led Romney to almost doubling the second place showing by Texas representative Ron Paul (23%).

The still-unknown Guy From Utah surged from a miserable last-place finish in Iowa to the third spot with a respectable 17%, probably because ultra-conservative wunderkind Rick Santorum is not only far too right-wing to appeal to New Hampshirites, but is still dogged by subconscious associations with anal sex.

Former House Speaker Newt “I Don’t Need No Stinking Ethics” Gingrich took a fourth place finish with 10% of the New Hampsharean vote. Gingrich complained that once again negative campaigning hurt him – although this time it was his negative campaigning against Romney that did him in, plus the fact he is just slightly to the right of Genghis Khan.

In fifth place, Santorum still out-polled Texas Governor Rick Perry with 9% to Perry’s 1%. Perry is not expected to pout and threaten to go back to Texas and hold his breath as he did after Iowa, since he knew he would do terrible with moderate New Hampshireens.