Tornado Rips Through N. Carolina Communities

A tornado swept through western North Carolina leaving destroyed homes and businesses in its wake.

A tornado tore through western North Carolina today, injuring at least 20 people and damaging mobile homes, houses, and businesses. The National Weather Service reported the storm had an EF2 strength. Winds were estimated at 115 miles an hour.

“It could have been worse,” one longtime Burke county resident said. “This is nothing compared to the damage being done to South Carolina right now.”

South Carolina is of course in the throes of its Republican Primary, with gale force hot air expected to peak at 1,000 miles per hour by January 21.

“We can rebuild and recover from this damage, but after you’ve come face-to-face with Ron Paul there’s no amount of therapy or psychological reconstruction that will make you whole again” one state official said. “Still, we’re getting ready for when he blows through here in May.”

Speaker Mike O’Neal Proves There’s No Evolution In Kansas

Kansas House Speaker Mike O'Neal explains why calling Michelle Obama "Mrs. Yomama" is really, truly funny.

Kansas State Representative and Speaker of the Kansas House Mike O’Neal, holder of the second highest office in the state and a member of the Republican party, thinks calling Michelle Obama “Mrs. Yomama” and urging fellow Republicans to pray for President Obama’s death are the utmost in Holiday Cheer.

O’Neal sent an email to numerous recipients that had the words “Separated At Birth?” over an image of Jim Carey in his “Grinch” costume next to First Lady Michelle Obama. “I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing Mrs. YoMama a wonderful, long Hawaii Christmas vacation — at our expense, of course” the email read.

O’Neal apologized by saying “Cartoons are intended to be humorous. This one made me laugh — I’ve had bad hair days too. I forwarded it too quickly, missing the text included in the body of the mail. To those I have offended, I am sorry.”


O’Neal is, of course, the same Kansas representative who circulated an email that cites Psalm 109: “Let his days be few; and let another take his office. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.”

“At last — I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president,” O’Neal added.

Email: so easy even a caveman can send it.