Gingrich Wins In South Carolina

Newt Gingrich overcame his history of adultery, ethics violations, resigning from the House of Representatives in disgrace, lying about his finances, obvious hypocrisy, and rumors of inbreeding to win the South Carolina GOP presidential primary by a 13% margin over second-place Mitt Romney, who took 27%.

Ex-Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum placed third with 17%, a disappointment for the fundamentalist Tea Party candidate who simply couldn’t overcome his massive personality deficit. And 19th century revivalist Ron Paul got 13% of the vote – surprising considering he’s almost certifiably looney.

“Actually, the thing about inbreeding probably swung things for Gingrich” one South Carolinite said. “We’re big on family values here.”

So far there is no word on how many votes the Herman Cain/Stephen Colbert hybrid candidate got.

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