Obama Spends An Hour Delivering SOTU Address

The President makes some points during the 2012 State Of The Union Address. Many of the people in the audience were noticeably asleep about half-way through.

The following is a transcript of Barack Obama’s 2012 State Of The Union address:

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah did you hear I got bin Laden? blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden – I got him blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden, and the Republicans didn’t blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden, me, and some Navy Seals who signed a flag for me blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden while this clown Boner back here was shtupping some intern blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden and I even let Joe Biden hang around and watch blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden, then had some Navy guys dress him like Sailor Moon and toss his ass to the sharks blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden’s nuts in a jar back at the White House blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah I got bin Laden blah blah blah blah blah blah blah bin Laden blah blah blah thank you God bless you, and God bless the United States of America bin Laden!

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Romney Paid 14% On $21 Million

Mitt Romney, once considered the only real choice for the GOP presidential nomination only to see his prospects fade in the bloated shadow of Newt Gingrich, released his tax returns late Monday. The documents revealed he is part of the 0.01%.

Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney finally released his tax returns late Monday after several weeks of stalling. The documents reveal Romney paid just $3 million in income tax on a declared income of over $21 million.

“I realize that looks like I don’t pay as much as the average person, let alone a multimillionaire – but I had a lot of deductions this year” Romney said. “For example – and you can’t see that on the forms because it isn’t itemized – but for example my wife had extensive dental work done. That really cut things down.”

Probably most surprising was the fact that Romney filed the 1040-EZ form. “It’s a little known provision of the tax code, but if you’re super-rich you can do whatever you want. It’s perfectly legal!”