Occupy Oakland Clashes With Police

Oakland police try to disperse Occupy marchers with smoke. Police declared the marchers to be engaged in an "unlawful assembly" as they attempted to reach an abandoned building they planned to occupy. (photo stolen from KGO News)

Police and Occupy Oakland marchers clashed in the streets of the East Bay city today as protesters attempted to reach an unidentified abandoned building. Occupy Movement protesters said they would make the building their new base of operations after they were forcibly evicted from a small park near the Oakland Civic Center late last year.

“We can’t just let people move into abandoned buildings” a city spokesperson said. “Sure, this is Oakland and we have literally hundreds and hundreds of abandoned buildings. But if we let people move into them where will the crack and meth addicts go?”

The city also expressed concerns for the homeless: “We get state and federal money based on the number of homeless people on our streets. If they move into abandoned buildings that revenue will dry up!”

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Fran Drescher Abducted By Aliens

Actress Fran Drescher, famous for her starring role in sitcom "The Nanny", claims she was abducted by aliens as a teenager and then "re-programmed" not to remember it. Although somehow she does.