Gingrich Loses CPAC Straw Poll

Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney won the non-binding straw poll at the 2012 Conservative Political Action Conference. Romney was a moderate until recently when he discovered he needs to pretend to be a conservative to get the national Republican party behind him.

Clint Eastwood Supports Simpson-Bowles Plan

Director Clint Eastwood says the government needs to take another look at the Simpson-Bowles deficit reduction plan. Prepared under the auspices of President Obama, the plan recommends that spending not exceed 21% of gross domestic product. It listed specific government programs to cut, and recommends an overhaul of the tax code.

Academy Award(TM)(R)(C) winning actor and director Clint Eastwood says he thinks it’s time to take another look at the Simpson-Bowles deficit reduction plan.

“I don’t know why the President asked O.J. and that other guy to come-up with it in the first place, if he isn’t going to push for it” Eastwood said. “It’s simple: say you have some kids in the neighborhood that are selling drugs and raping and looting…you could molly-coddle them and put them in some government program. Or you can fill them full of 44-magnum-sized holes and fix the problem once and for all. And that’s what Simpson-Bowles does: it’s a large-caliber solution, it’s bloody and extreme, and blows the deficits whole head clean off.”