Keystone XL Designer Says Pipeline Is Safe

The designer of the controversial Keystone XL pipeline that would deliver beer from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico claims the pipeline is safe. "If it leaks we just all grab straws and start sucking it up" said design engineer Keith Stone.

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Candidates Out-Conservative Each Other At Arizona Debate

GOP candidates Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, Mitt Romney, and Newt "I Can Reach It!" Gingrich prepare to establish their conservative cred at what may be the last debate of the primaries.