Black Person Evades Security, Touches Romney


A black woman somehow evaded the negro-sniffing dogs and African-detecting scanners that surround GOP candidate Mitt Romney this weekend, and even managed to touch him. Campaign security personnel immediately wrestled her to the ground.

“I was scared” Romney admitted. “Of course I’ve heard of black people, but this was the first time one had ever managed to enter my personal space – and by “personal space” I mean within eyesight.”

Eastwood Admits He Had No Idea What He Was Doing

Hollywood megastar Clint Eastwood admitted he had no clue what he was going to say in his remarks at the recent Republican National Convention. In an interview with the Carmel, CA Pine Cone newspaper Eastwood said Romeny’s campaign people “vet most of the people, but I told them, ‘You can’t do that with me, because I don’t know what I’m going to say’”.

Two weeks later, most people still aren’t sure what he actually did say.