Farmer Eaten By Hogs

Authorities are investigating the death of an Oregon farmer who was apparently eaten by his own hogs. When the man did not return from the morning hog feeding, a family member went to look for him. All they found in the pig pen were his dentures, a few body parts, and some tight-lipped pigs.

“We’ve got our suspicions” said a police investigator assigned to the case. “One of the hogs was heard saying ‘it’s him or us!’ shortly before the incident.”

Veteran’s Administration Criticized For Expenditures

The Veterans Administration has been criticized in a report by the office of its Inspector General for spending as much as $6 million dollars on┬áconferences for the department’s human resources employees. Expenses included a parody video of the famous opening speech from the film “Patton”. Assistant secretary for human resources and administration John Sepulveda has resigned as a result of the report.