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Do The Math

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Justin Bieber Gropes Fan At Photo Op

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Differences

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Click the image to see the full-size 1920×1080 version – right-click that to download it!

Virginia Bill To Cut Funding For Abortions Of Deformed Fetuses

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Virginia Senator Tom Garrett (R – Lynchburg) has introduced a bill into the state General Assembly that will cut state funding for abortions when a “fetus will be born with a gross and totally incapacitating physical deformity or with a gross and totally incapacitating mental deficiency”.

Garrett feels strongly about this issue because, in his words “under that ‘mental deficiency’ stipulation I myself might never have been born!”

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Clinton Testifies Before Congress On Benghazi Attack

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Ted Nugent Says He’s Willing To Kill U.S. Service Personnel

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Rock dinosaur Ted Nugent says Barack Obama “is attempting to re-implement the tyranny of King George that we escaped from in 1776…If you want another Concord bridge, I’ve got some buddies.”

Since any hypothetical treason Nugent might commit against the United States would supposedly involve him and his “buddies” in armed combat against U.S. military personnel, or at the very least law enforcement personnel, Nugent is essentially saying he is willing to use his guns to kill American citizens to promote his political agenda, which is closely tied to the National Rifle Association’s political agenda.

Will Golfer Mickelson Leave CA Due To Taxes?

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Top golfer Phil Mickelson may leave California because of the tax increases on millionaires caused by passage of state ballot initiative Proposition 30. Proposition 30 raises sales tax 1/4 0f 1 percent for four years, and raises income tax on earnings over $250k for seven years, to fund state schools. The income tax increase will be mostly significant for those making more than $1 million.

Mickelson says his tax bite from state and federal taxes will be 62-to-63 percent, cutting his estimated $47 million earnings in 2012 to a paltry $18 million. Mickelson says he will have to make “drastic changes”, a statement many interpret to mean he will leave California, or possibly even retire from golf because it just isn’t worth the trouble to be a measly millionaire 18 times over.

The rest of California will be sad to see you go, Phil. Oh, and don’t let the border hit you in the ass on the way out.

Guns Don’t Kill People

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Having them, loading them, pointing them at people, and pulling the trigger does. But it starts with having them.

Biden Slips And Calls Himself “The President”

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It was a slip within a gaffe inside an enigma wrapped in a mystery….

Have You Noticed?

No one’s talking about the economy anymore and blaming Obama for screwing it up since it has become obvious it’s improving?

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Armstrong Confesses To Oprah

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Stockman Hates Obama Announcement In Advance

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Rep. Steve Stockman (R – Texas) has announced that President Obama’s actions are unconstitutional and impeachable a full day before Obama announced any of his actions. Later Stockman compared Obama to Iraqi dictator Sadaam Hussein in a bid to continue his calm and reasoned response to new gun control measures. Even Fox News harridan Greta Van Susteren called the comparison “a stretch” – and if you’re making Greta look smart, you know you’re hitting the ball out of the moron stadium.

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Ann Coulter Says Gun Violence A “Demographic Problem”

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Republican centerfold and Fox News harlot Ann Coulter says gun violence is a “demographic problem”. Coulter suggests we need to take guns away from minorities but leave whites armed. But not all whites: obviously the poor ones can’t have guns because they’ll just sell them to buy health care.

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Jodi Foster Says Things At Golden Globes

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Miss New York Wins Miss America Pageant

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Maybe He Did And Maybe He Didn’t

“When the people fear the government, there is tyranny. The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government.”

falsely attributed to Thomas Jefferson

What he actually said was the above, plus:

“Unless the government has tanks and planes and missiles and satellites and billions of dollars – then you’re fucked no matter how much you like to pretend you’re Rambo.”

Obama To Literally Swear On A Stack Of Bibles

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The White House has announced that President Barack Obama will take the oath of office with his hand on not one but two bibles. One of the bibles belonged to President Abraham Lincoln, and the other belonged to Rev. Martin Luther King. Obama identifies strongly with these two men because Lincoln brought the country through a time of great internal conflict, because King brought about great social change, and because both were killed by white men with guns.

Alex Jones Makes Compelling Case For Gun Ownership

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We might just need to own guns to protect ourselves from crazy bastards like Alex Jones.

Why A Politician Does The Right Thing

ReidNRASenate Majority Leader Harry Reid has been a friend of the gun lobby for years – but it appears that even he is getting the message about our need to do something about easy access to weapons.

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Meanwhile, At The U.S. Capitol Building

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Republican Congress Unsure How To Approach Debt Ceiling

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Kathy Griffin Kisses Anderson Cooper’s Crotch On Global Broadcast

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The terrorists are really winning, big-time.

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House Republicans Re-elect Boehner As Speaker

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Senate, House Pass Biden-McConnell Fiscal Cliff Deal

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The Senate and the House of Representatives have passed a landmark plan to avoid the dreaded “fiscal cliff” that loomed up with the new year. Brokered in the 11th hour by Vice President Joe Biden and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, the deal allows Bush-era tax cuts on those earning over $450k to expire, while putting-off spending cuts until later in 2013. The deal is widely seen as a huge win for President Barack Obama.

When it became apparent that any deal would involve raising taxes House Speaker John Boehner stepped back as if he were facing a snake and insisted that Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid would have to take-up the negotiations. When it became apparent that any deal would include spending cuts Reid ran and hid like a frightened child.

That left McConnell, who is being sacrificed to the wrath of conservatives, and Biden, who really has nothing to lose at this point.

“My career is essentially over anyway” McConnell said. “After something like twenty terms in the Senate I was going to retire after this one, anyway – so I might as well take it in the neck so that chicken-shit Boehner can say he had nothing to do with this.”

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Hefner Marries Woman 130 Years His Junior

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OVER WE GO!

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It’s hard to believe it has only been a year since we posted this item about the then-current primary elections – and it turned-out to be nothing more than an exercise in democracy and comedy.