Calm The Fuck Down!

Look this is getting stupid. Stuff like this and the furore over “Baby It’s Cold Outside” is not only stupid it’s dangerous. You can’t “edit” society based on your personal problems. Taking this stuff to its logical conclusion:

  • You should no longer say “hello” because Christians will get pissed because the word “hell” is in there.
  • You should no longer say “pissed” because someone somewhere has a urinary tract infection.
  • Stop shaking hands – some people don’t have them.
  • Stop saying “hand”, “I”, and “cap” because some people are handicapped.
  • Being tall is unfair to short people.
  • People with hair should shave their heads because bald people can’t grow hair.
  • Stop having children – infertile people are sensitive.
  • There are far more dead people than live people – in solidarity everyone who is alive should die immediately.

 

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Don’t Tell Her DSL Is Slower Than Cable

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

What – Too Soon For You People?

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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ABBA Reunites After 35 Years

We Know It Won’t Be Oprah

(Click the image to read the actual story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the actual story at CNN.com)

Bill Cosby’s Daughter Ensa Dead At 44

Are they sure she’s dead? She might just be heavily drugged.

 

Oh, what, too soon for you people? Larry Wilmore still hasn’t forgotten about you, motherfucker!

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Recent News Is Quite Scary

Does This News Scare You?

(Click the image to view the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to view the full story at CNN.com)

Madonna Happy To Leave USA – So That Makes It Unanimous

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Must Have Seen TV

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Everyone is 20 years older so it will be 20 times funnier!

It’s Not As Bad As Waiting For A Beatles Reunion

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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Sayonara Douchebag!

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Chuck Berry

Instead Of Just Virtually Everybody

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Shia LaBeouf Beats The Unity Out Of A Trump Supporter

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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Also While Riding On A Train

lohanmarker

Your 2016 Celebrity Stiff List

Provided by Pox News. Still waiting for Abe Vigoda’s death to be a hoax.

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Stop The Hate

Dentism

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Travolta Replaced By Android – No One Notices

NoFooling

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The Evidence Is Undeniable

Neanderthals

New “Star Wars” Spoilers

Here at GraceLessLand we are privy to some inside information about “The Force Awakens”, mostly because this stuff is pretty obvious from the trailers.

  • Luke has gone over to the Dark Side – that’s him in the mask holding the red lightsaber. He has become obsessed with making his father’s dream of galactic domination a reality. This is great for Mark Hamill, because not only has it been a long time between paychecks but Darth Vader was much more popular than Luke Skywalker ever was, so he should be able to milk this for a ton of voice-over jobs, and he can double his autograph fee at conventions.
  • Han Solo has found true love – with his best friend and better-half, Chewbacca. That’s what Princess Leia is crying about when she hugs him in the trailer. But Han and Chewie are unable to marry under the repressive laws of the desert planet they are living on, and so once again they must fight for what is right.
  • Princess Leia is not handling menopause well – when she has hot flashes her Force Powers cause people around her to spontaneously combust.
  • C3PO and R2D2 aren’t droids – but are actually a Jedi mind-trick to conceal their true identities as the actual twins fathered by Darth Vader. This is why they are never the droids you are looking for.
  • Storm Troopers are not clones – they are temps – that’s why they are so bad at their job.
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Everyone Has Their Role To Play

LarryWilmore

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Will This Carnage Never End?

NotAgain2

Travolta Speaks Against “Going Clear”

(Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at FoxNews.com)

“Unfinished Business” Stars In Free Photos

So we could take them and write goofy dialog balloons for them and it would be legal!

What would the fun be in that?

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Dear Internet Trolls

NimoyShatner

Live Long And Prosper

NimoyL nimoyLarsonLeonard Nimoy-Sea Huntnycqrb Sea-Hunt-The-Shipwreck-3leonard_nimoy

He Is Deep In The Plaktow – The Blood Fever

(Click the image to read the full story at BBC.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at BBC.com)

Tension On The “American Sniper” Set

Will Bradley Cooper get a "sympathy Oscar" for being stuck acting with a fake baby?

Will Bradley Cooper get a “sympathy Oscar” for being stuck acting with a fake baby?

Fifty Shades Of Stupid

If it was a guy who lives in a trailer park instead of a millionaire it wouldn't be sexy at all.

If it was a guy who lives in a trailer park instead of a millionaire it wouldn’t be sexy at all.