How Civilization Ended On Mars

My people, we have a quandary upon us, or with us, or in us or however quandaries relate to us, but nonetheless we know they are most intractable and bad and we must do something.

As you all know, several months ago our high priest proclaimed that some “unclean” acts were committed within the great temple of Narx, and some of you are now tainted while others of us, who obviously were nowhere near the temple when the unclean acts were done, are not tainted. He further said the Gods would “guide the hands of the Great Jeddak and his wife The Queen in selecting those who will live and those who must die!” which was all just a bit dramatic, I thought, but anyway my wife and I made our lists and when we went to put them together there are a lot of names on my list that are not on hers, and vice-versa. So we didn’t know what to do: do we just merge the two lists and take only one among the duplicates and then have them all burned to death over at the High Priest’s temple where, I noticed, they had a lot of extra beer and wine delivered this weekend – you just try to get a mug of beer anywhere in the district for any price, but anyway, back to the quandary, you see, I was at quite a loss how I was supposed to guess who is tainted and who is not, and my quite Excellent and Perspicacious wife was likewise mystified as to how she should know anything about any major party in the birthing pools of the Temple last week when the moons were away as they must be to reduce the chance of procreation, or so the priests of Narx tell us, but we notice the priests are all down at the waterfront when the moons are full spending their ducats in the exact same places, just as if they had nothing to fear when the Moon is near to bursting! Anyways back to our little problem: so here we have these two lists and some people are duplicated on them and some are not, so does that mean that ones who are on both lists are tainted and therefore doomed, and that the “bachelors and bachelorettes” so-to-speak aren’t tainted and therefore aren’t doomed? Or is it like we just merge it into one list like I said, but yes – yes- you’re right that’s not very popular, is it. So, where are we then? Well we also noticed there are quite a lot of people not just here in the City of Narx, but all over the hither and nether and yonder lands, and they aren’t on either list! What happens there I ask you? My wife and I can’t vouch for every farmer and goat herder in the realm! We don’t know if they were at the Temple or not, or at least we didn’t see them if they were! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I keep straying from the point, don’t I? Well, the point is who lives and who dies, what? You see some persons are on my list and not on my wife’s list, and some are on her list and not on mine, for instance I’m on my wife’s list but not on mine! So, I called upon the court astrologers and logicians and told them to decide what to do, and they came up with: everyone who isn’t on my list is safe and I’m not on my list so I’m safe and anyone who disagrees will go on my list. Everyone else can shift for himself – I understand my wife likes the definition: everyone who isn’t on her list is not tainted and everyone who is, is tainted and she’s not on her list and she damn-well doesn’t want to be on mine! We’ve been wrestling back-and-forth in negotiations about how to solve this quandary of who lives and who doesn’t for days, and the closest we can come to agreement on is that anyone who isn’t on either list should be condemned and doomed for not taking more of an interest in their homeland! Except for me not being on her list! But then I suppose I should put myself on my list to balance things out?

Well anyway, good to address you all one last time before you go off into the Great Temple of Narx to die! The Mrs. Appreciates it too! Sorry about the floods not being up to snuff this year and the wheat crop being so meager, but you know those are the breaks when you live near a river!

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The Ox And Lamb Were Undercover ICE Agents

(Click the image to see the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to see the full story at CNN.com)

Birth, Life, And Windows

I’ll start by drawing the reader’s attention to figure 1. This is the Windows 7 file properties report for the most fundamental of files stored on my HP mega-laptop, the 20″ HDX 9000 Dragon that was popular late in the previous decade.

 

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Figure 1

As we can see from the image, the boot shell command file is the very spark and quintessence of this machine – this is the last saved “image” of the freshly manufactured machine’s on state – a recording of the device’s “soul”, if you will. And you will, won’t you, because people love to anthropomorphize everything around them, so why should a pile of various materials arranged in a particular, repeatable pattern like a major appliance be immune? But this is the digital version of the Fountain of Youth: this is a copy of the current OS-install start-‘er-up data that will, once done doing what it does, return my Dragon Lady to her original factory splendour, young and vibrant and showing-off her sexy Windows Vista operating system.

At least I think so – who really knows? (Seriously does anyone know what this file does? I’m considering upgrading the old girl to larger-yet-faster SSD drives and doing a bottom-up Windows 7 Pro installation.)

I believe that system life begins at birth, not at inception. Inception is a remote and often rather random process of collating and storing a clean-burned system image for production in a massive factory in China, when billions of renminbi are on the line and orders are pouring-in from America, Europe, Asia, India, Canada, the former Soviet Union, and Mexico but not the rest of Latin America because they’re too poor, being underpaid to produce whatever’s left-over that isn’t made in China now.

The Divine Revelations Of Gracelessland

“And they that dwell on the earth shall wonder, whose names have not been written in the book of life from the foundation of the world, seeing the beast, that it was a thing, orange in color and with a bad haircut, and is not and yet now is” (Rev.17:8)

“Quantum Leap”! I Loved That Show!

It’s not like she’s torturing them – it’s part of her education program to retrain workers to meet the challenges of the 21st century. Things like the concept of too-much liberty, of having all decisions made for you by “Privatized Domesticity”, where most people will live in blocks of corporate housing, sealed inside a polycarbonate capsule for the six-hour rest period each will be allowed daily. And woe to the privatized person that is caught without their identity chip subdermally implanted in the end of their nose! The Guardians will smack your face into the reader again and again before they catch-on you just don’t have one. These represent huge challenges to those in power and who want to remain in power. Re-eduction simply eases the transition to privatization.

People like this woman prattling-on about how someone is a threat to their mythological belief system offend my sensibilities as a believer in the corporate One to which we all contribute daily, and ultimately for the rest of our corporate lives. If this reeducation program requires bringing Janet Reno out of retirement then so be it!

(Click the image to read the full story at RawStory.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at RawStory.com)

Happy Commie Day

The word “mayday”, famously used in distress calls from ships at sea, is actually a mangling of the French word “m’aidez”, or “help me”.

Also May Day is, since about 1880 or-so, International Workers’ Day – so kiss a comrade today.

And it’s the anniversary of the Haymarket Massacre when police in Chicago killed 4 marchers in a peaceful protest. And that is, I’m pretty sure, the reason for it being International Workers’ Day.

But “May Day”, or something similar at this time of year, has been celebrated in religious traditions for probably thousands of years, originally simply to mark the end of winter. In the colonies that became the U.S. “freethinkers” celebrated May Day with maypole dances along with Native Americans (in the early years before real estate values went up).

And May Day is a reminder that it is only three days until May The Fourth Be With You day.

And only four days until Cinco de Mayo, celebrating Mexican Independence Mexico’s defeat of the French at the Battle of Puebla in 1862.

All of which makes me think the 1st through the 5th of May should be a national holiday – or whichever five weekdays fall closest. We don’t want to get cheated with weekends being included.

Pope Approves New “Child-Friendly” Vatican

PopeCircus

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI has approved a new design for the Vatican that incorporates new “child-friendly” features such as the Sandusky Chapel that has a painted ceiling showing Elmo reaching out to a pubescent Adam.

Fundamentalist Broadcaster Outs Obama

Bryan Fischer, a broadcaster for the fundamentalist Christian American Family Association, says President Barack Obama is a “closeted Muslim”, and the proof is Obama’s wedding ring.

“ We’ve looked at the photographic evidence, we’ve seen some research on this. There’s a academic expert at Duke University that’s verified that, that is the inscription on President Obama’s ring. And it’s not just a wedding ring, he had photographs of him wearing that ring since the earlier 1980s… And the inscription, according to this academic expert at Duke — and one other prestigious university verified it — yes, the inscription on his ring says that there is no god but Allah. And the reason you haven’t seen any of that in the mainstream media is that — I mean, the mainstream media has not even discussed that — probably because it’s too fucking lame even for Fox News to touch it.”

We at GraceLessLand have learned that Fischer is only partially correct – and things are much worse than he knows:

Romney Meets With Rev. Billy Graham

 

GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney met with the Reverend Billy Graham on Thursday. Prior to the meeting the legendary evangelist’s Web site had listed The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints as a cult, but that reference has been removed.

Friar Apologizes For Having Said Anything

A Catholic friar has apologized for saying some pretty creepy stuff that makes him at least sound as if he sympathizes with pedophiles, if not actually makes one suspect he may be one.

Rev. Benedict Groeschel, in comments in the National Catholic Register, seems to be saying that pedophiles are the victims of the children. Groeschel is a founder of the Trinity Retreat House where he works with priests accused of child sexual abuse. In his original statements Groeschel says “in a lot of cases” it is actually the child who takes advantage of the adult, who may be in an emotionally weakened state.

Is pedophilia sick? Yes. Is it a disease? Probably. Can it be treated? Maybe. Does that mean we should be understanding of it? Not at all.