2/5/2018: At the same moment Trumphotep was extolling his revitalization of the economy, news broke that the stock market had tanked.
1/6/2018: Addressing claims that he is mentally unfit for office, the Divine Trumphotep declared himself “like, really smart” and “a genius”, thus quelling all fears that he is a madman bent of the destruction of the Earth.
11/23/2017: In a rambling, almost incoherent address to troops overseas, Trumphotep said the military is “winning” because of him. It’s nothing they did. It’s all him.
11/3/2017: “I’m the only one that matters” mighty Trumphotep said when asked about vacancies at the Department of State.
10/18/2017: While making a call to the widow of a slain U.S. serviceman, his Immensity Trumphotep said “he knew what he signed up for, but I guess it still hurt“.
9/30/2017: After being criticized for the slow response to help hurricane-devastated U.S. territory Puerto Rico, Trumphotep criticized the hurricane victims right back by saying “They want everything done for them!”
9/14/2017: A few hours after claiming that Hurricanes Harvey and Irma were the largest ever, Trumphotep was asked if this has changed his mind about climate change, and His Biglyness said no because we have had larger storms than these two.
9/5/2017: While announcing that he is rescinding 800,000 “Dreamer” immigrants’ deferments from deportation, even though they were brought to the U.S. as children and are now adults, The Mighty Trumphotep condescended to indicate, just in passing, that he loves “these people” and he hopes Congress will now pass a law to rescind his recension of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals policy. Large, pleasant ICE agents will be expediting the deportations by rounding-up people who have given their personal information to join the DACA program. Remember it is not illegal but it is highly recommended citizens do not park near black vans with government license plates.
8/11/2017: When Vladimir Putin expelled 750 U.S. diplomatic personnel in retaliation for U.S. sanctions for Russia’s corruption of the electoral process, Trumphotep said “I want to thank him because we’re trying to cut down on payroll, and as far as I’m concerned, I’m very thankful that he let go of a large number of people, because now we have a smaller payroll. There’s no real reason for them to go back. So I greatly appreciate the fact that we’ve been able to cut our payroll of the United States. We’ll save a lot of money.”
7/28/2017: Trumphotep tells police it’s okay to hurt suspects. Police applaud.
7/25/2017: “I honestly believe for six months I have done more than just about any president when you look at all of the bills that were passed, 42, 43.” Unlike that lazy piker FDR, for example.
7/13/2017: “I’d say the only thing more difficult than peace between Israel and the Palestinians is healthcare”.
4/30/2017: Trumphotep blamed the Constitutional system of checks and balances for his failures in office. “It’s an archaic system … It’s really a bad thing for the country.”
4/13/2017: Trumphotep says he will stop government reimbursement of insurers of the poor, potentially forcing the insurers out of Obamacare and leading to loss of coverage for the poor. In other words he’s betting as the poor start to die from lack of healthcare the Democrats will knuckle-under to save some of their lives.
4/12/2017: During the election for Pharaoh, Trumphotep said Russia is our friend and NATO is obsolete. After the debacle in Syria he now says Russia is a bunch of assholes and we desperately need NATO.
3/13/2017: ….and ten days later Trumphotep’s High Priest Spicer claims when the Wall Builder said “wiretapping” he didn’t actually mean wiretapping, just as when he says he won the election he doesn’t actually mean “won”.
3/3/2017: In what appears to be a blatant attempt to distract people from the many failings of his month-old administration, Trumphotep claims ex-President Barack Obama tapped the phones at Trump Tower during the election. His Distruthfulness did not offer any evidence to support this claim.
2/27/2017: Trumphotep claims his predecessor President Obama is behind the opposition to his presidency, and possibly behind the leaks in the intelligence community. He provided no evidence for this claim.
2/27/2017: Trumphotep claims the mistake in announcing the Academy Award for Best Picture was due to Hollywood’s “obsession” with him. “They were focused so hard on politics that they didn’t get the act together at the end . . . It was a little sad. It took away from the glamour of the Oscars.”
2/24/2017: Taking his first step toward dictatorship, Trumphotep banned major news organizations like CNN and The New York Times from a White house Press Briefing.
2/16/2017: At a press conference Trumphotep said of his one-month-old administration “We have made incredible progress. I don’t think there’s ever been a president elected who in this short period of time has done what we’ve done”. It was almost impossible to hear the next question because of the loud sound of FDR spinning in his grave.
2/9/2017: After an appeals court upheld a lower court’s decision against Trumphotep’s ban on people from 7 Muslim countries, His Bigly-ness tweeted “It’s a political decision, we’re going to see them in court, and I look forward to doing that” probably because Trumphotep’s tie-breaking Supreme Court Justice will probably be seated on the Bench before this case comes before the Court. Meanwhile His Crassness had nothing to say on the resumption of work on the Dakota Access Pipe Line, or the fact that the Chinese just handed him his ass over the “One China” policy.
2/8/2017: Trumphotep tweeted his displeasure at Nordstrom’s department stores for dropping Princess Ivankha’s line of crap clothes made in ‘Jyna. Meanwhile he was silent on terrorist attacks in Canada and France, and continued to hide behind the body of the soldier he got killed in Yemen in order to avoid answering questions about the operation.
UPDATE: High Priestess of the Living God Kellyanne Conway urged viewers to buy Princess Ivankha’s junk while being interviewed on CNN. When even GOP members of Congress expressed the view she broke the law, the White House Herald Sean Spicer said Conway had been “counselled” over the incident.
2/4/2017: After a court order put his immigration ban on hold, Trumphotep said people should “blame the judge if anything happens”. He had previously tweeted a rant in which he referred to the jurist as “that so-called judge”.
1/22/2017: After Trumphotep’s press secretary made false statements as to the size of the crowd at His Wall-Buildingness’ inauguration, senior adviser Kellyanne Conway said: “You’re saying it’s a falsehood. And they’re giving — Sean Spicer, our press secretary — gave alternative facts.” And later in the interview she said again: “….we feel compelled to go out and clear the air and put alternative facts out there.”
1/11/2017: After weeks of denials Trumphotep admits he thinks it was Russia that hacked the DNC’s email servers, but maintains it was not to help him win.
1/5/2017: Trumphotep admits Mexico will not pay for his Great Wall of ‘Jyna.
1/1/2017: Quote: “I know a lot about hacking, and hacking is a very hard thing to prove. So it could be somebody else. And I also know things that other people don’t know, and so they cannot be sure of the situation.” The “Other People”? The CIA.
12/23/2016: President Elect Donald Trump says he has no problem starting a new arms race.
12/21/2016: Tweeted: “The United States must greatly strengthen and expand its nuclear capability until such time as the world comes to its senses regarding nukes”.
12/21/2016: President Elect Donald Trump maintains his claim of winning “by a landslide”, even though the official vote tally shows Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by 2.8 million votes cast.
12/18/2016: After China offers to return a seized naval drone, President Elect Donald Trump threw away the diplomatic opportunity by saying: “We should tell China that we don’t want the drone they stole back.- let them keep it!” via Twitter.
12/12/2016: President Elect Donald Trump says he doesn’t attend daily intelligence briefings because “You know, I’m, like, a smart person.”
12/6/2016: President Elect Donald Trump tweets his thoughts that the new Air Force One is too expensive and should be cancelled. Boeing stock immediately drops $1.5 billion in value.
12/2/2016: President Elect Donald Trump has a personal phone call with Taiwan’s president, breaking U.S. / China protocol in place since 1979. China refuses to recognize Taiwan as an independent nation, and part of our trade policy with China is for the U.S. not to recognize them as well. U.S. / China trade is worth $649 billion yearly, and Trump has taken the first step to harming that trade.
12/1/2016: In a phone call with Pakistani strongman Nawaz Sharif President Elect Trump said “you are a terrific guy. You are doing amazing work which is visible in every way. I am looking forward to see you soon. As I am talking to you, Prime Minister, I feel I am talking to a person I have known for long.” Pakistan released quotes from the call in a violation of diplomatic protocol.
11/28/2016: After an ISIS-inspired attacker uses a knife on 18 people at Ohio State University, President Elect Donald Trump tweets that vote recounts in Minnesota are a “scam” but never uses the words “Islamic Terrorism”.
11/27/2016: President Elect Donald Trump claims he won the popular vote “if you deduct the millions of people who voted illegally”. There is no discernable evidence for this claim.