Charlie Sheen Will Use Real Name For Next Film

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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FoxNipple.com

Anyone who has the stomach to visit FoxNews.com on a regular basis knows they prominently feature more T&A than all other news sites combined. It’s just another of those Fox Features that says “tabloid” in large bleeding letters. But I think we may have reached a milestone of sorts. Today, FoxNews.com ran its “Fox 411” gossip column with a story about one of Charlie Sheen’s professional girlfriends appearing in Playboy magazine.

This is a screen grab of the "Fox 411" column about ex-Charlie Sheen "goddess" Bree Olson's appearance in Playboy. Two sections of the article are set side-by-side in this otherwise un-mucked-with image.

It’s the shot on the right that puts Fox over-the-top here: that’s real pink nipple you see under her diaphanous raiment. Here’s a stunning close-up:

The fine little pucker-button in question.

Now is one little nipple a big deal on the porn-drenched Internet? Not really – unless it appears on a site that has about a dozen conservative pundits who invoke their diamond-hard belief in “family values” about 80 times a day.

I once kept statistics on the amount of tits and ass on FoxNews.com as compared with CNN, ABC,NBC,CBS, and PBS. Fox ran nearly SIX TIMES more boobs-‘n-buns than the closest competitor (CNN) over the course of a month. The reason why is obvious: people aren’t going to a media outlet featuring the likes of Sean Hannity and Bill O’Reilly for the intellectual stimulation.

Charlie Sheen And The Economy

Why would 74,040 people want to work as an intern for Charlie Sheen, who is quite possibly the next O.J./Robert Blake/Phil Spector celebrity murder suspect?

Oh, he’s going to make $100 million dollars in syndication royalties – that’s why. And he’s just nuts enough to leave his intern a chunk of it after he biffs off after the next comet.

Actor Charlie Sheen consults with his co-stars on "Two-and-a-Half Men" about their future.

Charlie Sheen Believes U.S. Government Behind Terror

Actor Charlie Sheen, a man known for his erudition and reasoning abilities, has called for a personal meeting with President Barack Obama to discuss Sheen’s theories of government culpability in the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. In an interview recently, Sheen was said to have “imagined” a twenty-minute meeting with Obama, and claims “we only need about five more minutes to finish our discussion”.

A still from a public service announcement warning people to avoid Charlie Sheen

A still from a public service announcement warning people to avoid Charlie Sheen

Sheen has also imagined he is a noteworthy celebrity whose opinions are valued by the public, and that giant lizard creatures from the center of the Earth want to kidnap Dolly Parton “and use her to procreate a race of superior Country and Western singing lizards with large hair, who will overrun the surface of the planet and destroy all vestiges of Polka music. We have to act now to protect our Polka heritage”.