National Rifle Association Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre has called for armed guards in schools to protect children from gun violence like the recent Sandy Hook school massacre in Newton, Connecticut.
“You know, five years ago, after the Virginia Tech tragedy, when I said we should put armed security in every school, the media called me crazy,” LaPierre said. “And here we are five years later and I’m still a batshit looney!”
The NRA has called for a wide-ranging “fight fire with fire” campaign, saying we should treat cancer by giving people more cancer, and we can cure congestion of the nation’s roadways by getting more people on the roads. LaPierre also called for more debt to fix the country’s current debt crisis, and suggested we could cure political gridlock by being even more fixated on divisive rhetoric designed only to play to a core constituency – say like gun owners, for example.
Connecticut’s state legislature passed a bill Monday that makes racial profiling a crime. When asked who the new law targets, the state’s Attorney General said “usually a white male between the ages of 25 and 55, in the law enforcement community, or the legal professions.” The state Attorney General was immediately arrested under the new law.