Preparations Proceed Apace For Democratic Convention

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Obama Attacked During Basketball Game

President Barack Obama was attacked during a “friendly” basketball game Friday. The President was hit in the mouth by an “errant” elbow. Alert Secret Service agents immediately wrestled the elbow to the ground.

After being rushed to a nearby hospital the President received stitches on his lower lip. The number of stitches is unknown. A doctor at the hospital, speaking under condition of anonymity, revealed “they got to him just in time. A mouth injury can be fatal for a politician”.

A group purported to be “friends and family” of the President were present at the scene of the attack. They were taken to an undisclosed place for interrogation.

Secret Service agents surround the President after an unprovoked attack at a basketball game. Administration officials would not rule-out the possibility of terrorism.

Meg Whitman Wins CA Gubernatorial Primary

Meg Whitman made a successful bid for the California Republican candidacy for governor. She Will face Democrat Jerry Brown in the Fall.

 

I wonder how she will demonize Brown as she did Poizner? When he was governor the state economy grew faster than at any time in history, employment and wages were high, and the state government actually worked. She could talk about his time as mayor in Oakland, except crime went down, revenues increased, and downtown was cleaned-up. Maybe she could attack him for being Attorney General, but that would raise the infamous failed Republican attempt to use state law to declare him ineligable. It would also bring-up the massive electoral margins he won. She could try to raise the Norman Hsu affair – but they got their brains beat out on that one, too.

What does Whitman bring to the office? She knows how to run Internet auctions. That’s not even as impressive as being governor of Alaska for half a term.

Traficant Released From Prison

James Traficant and his toupee give testimony at his corruption trial

James Traficant and his toupee give testimony at his corruption trial

Flamboyant, outspoken, corrupt, and probably insane ex-representative from Ohio James Traficant was released from a federal resort…err, prison today, after serving seven years for obstruction of justice, tax evasion and bribery.

The Democrat has maintained his innocence all through his incarceration, and once even went on a hunger strike for almost three hours, until he was informed that lunch that day would include salmon au gratin and a nice Riesling wine.

Traficant left the facility dressed in short pants, tennis shoes, and white knee-high socks. However, Traficant’s toupee is being held for an extra six months for bad behavior. “He ratted me out” the toupee said in a jailhouse interview.