Romney In Favor Of Unemployment

GOP front-runner Mitt Romney said today that he "likes being able to fire people". His opponents immediately criticized him for letting the cat out of the bag.

Republican Mitt Romney, who is leading in polls since his hair-breadth win in Iowa, told a crowd in Nashua, New Hampshire “I like being able to fire people who provide services to me”.

“It’s great” Romney said. “I really like the look of desperate fear that comes over them – especially poor people in the service industries who will have an especially tough time finding work. It’s about the most fun I have with my pants on!”

Newt Gingrich immediately criticized Romney for his comment: “Sure, we’d all love to sit around firing poor people all day – maybe even evicting them from their homes, just to make it that much more fun. But some of us have to come out here and work every day for every single vote. I mean, not me. I have underlings for that. And I can’t wait until this election is over so I can fire them!”

U.S. Nuclear Plants Threatened By Floods, Wild Fires

NRC spokesmen claim flooding around a Nebraska nuclear power plant poses no threat.

The Nuclear Regulatory Commission is downplaying disaster threats to U.S. nuclear plants in Nebraska and New Mexico. They claim there is no similarity to the disaster at the Fukushima nuclear plant in Japan.

“In Japan there was an earthquake followed by a flood of seawater. In Nebraska there was no earthquake and the plant is being flooded with fresh water – totally different thing. Unless the water gets higher than say two feet and two inches inches. Then it will pour into the containment vessels and you’ll see massive explosions and melt-downs that will sterilize the entire state. But there is absolutely no chance the water will exceed the safe depth.”

Nebraska disaster response officials say the water surrounding the plant is at two feet, with more rain on the way.

This nuclear plant at Los Alamos, New Mexico is in the path of raging wildfires - but an NRC spokesman says the flames won't get close enough to be a threat.

Meanwhile, in New Mexico, another nuclear plant at Los Alamos is surrounded by raging wildfires. Again an NRC spokesman says there is nothing to worry about. “This isn’t anything like Japan, where they had an earthquake, a flood, and then major fires at the Fukushima plant. There were no earthquakes or floods here. Earthquakes and flooding are the real problems – I mean the fire would have to completely consume that plant, and to do that there would have to be high temperatures combined with high wind – and what are the chances of that?”

The New Mexico weather service has predicted high temperatures combined with wind will sweep the state for the next several days.