Islamists Force Women To Shake Breasts

You can’t make this stuff up. Apparently a bunch of, shall we say, men in Somalia are all worked-off that women are wearing bras that make their breasts look firmer than they really are. So they are rounding women up in the streets, forcing them to remove their bras, and then shake their breasts so their “firmness” can be judged. Apparently Islamic law has a strict “firmness index” that must be adhered to at all times, so when a man finally makes his way through the layers of clothing they force women to wear he won’t be disappointed by the boobs he eventually finds.

The Islamist group is called Al Shabaab, which is Arabic for “Let’s find an excuse to go out and molest women and check-out their tits”. These guys get a high rating on the GraceLessLand “stupid fuck index”. In fact we’ve extended the scale to accomodate them, and it now goes to 11, or “Mega-douchebag”.