This Just In

Hot off the GraceLessLand wire:

  • All Americans will be required to own a copy of “Art of the Deal” – and not a used copy, either, but a brand new one!
  • The economic recovery has been called-off due to the new requirement that only the 0.0001% at the top will make any money.
  • Your new Attorney General, Chris Christie, will put a stop to all this legal marijuana nonsense and deprive the states of billions in tax revenue.
  • All Muslims will be required to have an identification chip implanted under their skin that also contains an explosive charge that can be detonated remotely.
  • Women will no longer be allowed to dress as they wish – anything that obstructs access to their genitalia is banned.
  • The President will henceforth be called “Pharaoh”, and all citizens will be required to spend six months each year working on Pharaoh’s Wall.