Introducing Google Now!

Unsure of who to vote for? Google Now will decide for you, and vote in your name automatically six or eight times!

Haven’t taken the time to make a will? No problem! Google Now has detected your neglect of your posterity and has already made itself the sole beneficiary of your estate!

Wondering what to do with that “extra” kidney you have? Google Now has access to black market organ dealers worldwide – you’ll just wake up in a strange hotel room with a fresh surgery incision neatly stitched into your side!

Google Now – it thinks for you because you’re slow, vulnerable, and at the information hegemony’s mercy!