Riots broke-out in Xintang, China and officials from the Chinese government say “Western agitators” are responsible for the unrest, although it’s hard to see what connection there might be to events in the Western Hemisphere.
Vancouver Canuck fans rioted in the city’s streets Thursday after the Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup final 4-0. Furious Canuck fans burned cars, looted stores, and had sex in the middle of the road to protest the fact their team couldn’t beat a bunch of Americans at Canada’s second favorite national sport (the first of course being Freestyle Canoe Dancing).
Some fans took the opportunity to show their support for the team by throwing empty beer bottles at police while chanting the Canadian national anthem “Oh Canada Ice-Bound Appendage Of The United States”. Others decided to mark the event by conceiving a child in the road.
Police suspect some of the fans may have been drinking, which is a good bet as beer is considered to be a fundamental food group in Canada.