Mubarak May Be Clinically Dead

Brutal Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak is seen here in happier times hanging-out with people who shared his values and beliefs.

Former Egyptian strongman Hosni Mubarak has reportedly been declared clinically dead at a hospital in Cairo after suffering a massive heart attack. However, sources in the Egyptian military dispute this claim, saying Mubarak is alive but in critical condition, kind of like Egypt.

Mubarak Gets (What’s Left Of His) Life In Prison

Fallen Egyptian strongman and staunch U.S. ally Hosni Mubarak was sentenced to life in prison for causing the deaths of over 800 protestors during the Egyptian “Arab Spring” uprising. Mubarak, 84, spent most of the trial confined to a hospital gurney, suffering from a severe bout of “how do I get out of this?”