Containment Has Been Breached

(Click the image to read the full story at .CNNcom)

(Click the image to read the full story at .CNNcom)

AH-OOGA! AH-OOGA! One of Them has escaped the secure facility in Washington D.C.

Word has it Kushner is trying to negotiate a deal where the Russians take Iraq off our hands, and that’s it – as soon as it closes escrow we’re out, they’re in, and we walk away clean! Everybody’s happy!

Kidnapped American Released In Iraq

Randy Michael Hultz was apparently kidnapped in Iraq nine months ago, just no one noticed at the time.

An American man was released by members of a Shiite militia in Iraq on Saturday. Randy Michael Hultz was apparently kidnapped by members of the Mahdi Army, a militia controlled by the anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr. In a taped news conference Saturday two Iranian lawmakers turned Hultz over to U.N. officials. At the news conference Hultz was dressed in U.S. military fatigues and a U.S. military i.d. and a U.S. contractor i.d. with his name and picture on them were displayed.

Hultz was deployed in Iraq as a U.S. soldier in 2003. Afterward he returned to the embattled country as an “entrepreneur”, according to U.S. officials. No one was aware he had been kidnapped, and Hultz is not listed on the official U.S. list of missing contractors. “But he definitely wasn’t working for us” U.S. officials said. “He wasn’t working for the CIA as a bogus construction contractor who gained access to high-level Iraqi officials and reported back to us on who may have had ties with the militias, or anything like that. Absolutely not. No way. Really.”

The followers of Muqtada al-Sadr who released Hultz said they did so as a good will gesture now that the U.S. army is leaving Iraq.

Hultz said he was grateful for his release.”It was explained to me that this is a gift to me, my family and to the American people who oppose the war,” he said. “There was no prisoner swap involved. I am not working for the CIA. Really.”

GOP Criticizes Obama For Ending Iraq War

Yes, Mr. Ex-President, yes it was.

GOP leaders are criticizing President Barack Obama for announcing all U.S. forces will leave Iraq by December 31, 2011. The announcement has been called a “bad idea” by Senator John McCain, a sign if “failure” by candidate Michele Bachmann, and “an astonishing failure to secure an orderly transition in Iraq” by candidate Mitt Romney.

If leaving Iraq is a failure, it’s a failure of George W. Bush, who set that date as the deadline for withdrawal back in 2004. “But I didn’t really mean it!” Bush said when contacted  standing next to a manure pile at this ranch in Texas. “I was just bullshitting the Iraqis. Hell, I didn’t think we’d ever manage to get our asses out of there.”

Ahmadinejad Addresses UN

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad adressed the United Nations today, where several countries walked-out as he berated Western nations, Israel, and capitalism. He suggested the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks in the United States were the work of the U.S. government. He said he knew this because his beard is a super-sensitive antenna that can pick-up CIA radio transmissions.

Ahmadinejad also denied that he had been in the apartment of the Nicaraguan consul when he was murdered the previous evening – even though the body of the diplomat had not as yet been discovered. After an aide whispered to Ahmadinejad he backtracked on this statement: “Well, IF the Nicaraguan Consul was murdered last night by having his throat cut with a Wilkinson tempered steel razor blade, while he was wearing a flimsy silk negligee and holding a dozen roses with a card that said ‘From Mahmoud with love’, THEN I was nowhere near the place”.

Mark Kornblau, a spokesman for the U.S. mission to the U.N., said in a statement, "Takes one to know one"