Rice Withdraws From State Dept. Bid


U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice has withdrawn her name from consideration for the post of Secretary of State in the aftermath of severe criticism from congressional Republicans over her testimony on the terrorist attacks on the U.S. diplomatic mission in Libya.

“We just don’t want another woman or another negro in the cabinet” said Senator John McCain, Rice’s most outspoken critic. “So we’ve killed two birds with one smear campaign. This is as close as we’ll get to beating the crap out of Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.”

Some analysts think the Republicans have made a mistake in making Rice the scapegoat for the delayed reaction to the attacks on the U.S. mission in Benghazi, Libya, where Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans were killed. This seems to let Hillary Clinton off the hook in the debacle, and clears the way for her probable presidential run in 2016.

White House: “Self Evident” Libya Attack A Terrorist Act


White House spokesman Jay Carney changed the administration’s story after a week of denying any terrorist links to the attack on the U.S. embassy in Libya that resulted in the deaths of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. On Thursday Carney said “It is, I think, self evident that what happened in Benghazi was a terrorist attack,” Carney said. “Our embassy was attacked violently and the result was four deaths of American officials. That is self evident.” Which is a rather roundabout way of saying it was terrorism but not necessarily linked to any organized terrorist group. Just to leave a little wiggle room in there.

Romney Sheds A Little More Class


Mitt Romney attempted to make it appear the Obama administration was somehow culpable in the recent attacks on the U.S. embassies in Libya and Egypt, primarily by re-arranging the timeline of events and making embassy attempts to defuse the situation look like “an apology for America’s values”. In fact the embassy statement reaffirms American belief in the right to free speech, while criticizing those who might use that right to purposefully inflame religious sensitivities.

Gaddafi Contemplates Political Benefits Of Emigration

Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi (or however it's spelled this week) contemplates the benefits of democracy.

As rebel forces close-in on Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi, the soon-to-be-ex-dictator is said to be contemplating his future. “Perhaps I will move to the United States and become a citizen” he is reported to have said. “Perhaps a career in politics there? I understand they have a party that drinks tea that I might do well in.”

Fair, Balanced, And Full Of Shit?

CNN reporter Nic Robertson seems pretty pissed-off about Fox News claims he and other journalists were used as “human shields” by the Libyan government. Far be it from me to imply that Fox will take any opportunity to smear real journalists in their attempts to appear to be an actual news source. Well, actually, I guess it’s more like “near be it from me”. Because Fox News will go to almost any extreme to smear real journalists in their attempts to appear to be an actual news source. Kind of the same way they will go to any lengths to smear any presidential candidate who doesn’t work for them.

Gadhafi Harangues UN For 90 Minutes

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi, wearing Scarlet O’Hara’s curtain outfit from “Gone With The Wind”, addressed the United Nations General Assembly for over 90 minutes on Wednesday. Gadhafi talked about many issues facing the world today: global climate change, war in Iraq and Afghanistan, the price of snow tires, and how tough it is to get those little gummi animals in Libya – “Especially the little snakes and worms, the green ones, I love those”.

At one point the “Libyan Strongman” said American President Barack Obama was his son “and Pam Anderson is my daughter – not adopted mind you, the real thing. Also I am the step-brother of Pat Sajak. I’m not sure how Vanna fits into that.”

Gadhafi also complained about his accomodations in New York: “These Kampground of America places, they’re awful. Never enough room for my women and my camels. And the prices!”

Moammar Gadhafi gestures with his hand-written "speech" as he bores the UN nearly to death.

Moammar Gadhafi gestures with his hand-written "speech" as he bores the UN nearly to death.