114-Year-Old Is Newest Oldest American

With the death of Gertrude Baines on Friday, Mary Josephine Ray is now officially the country’s oldest person at 114. Ms. Ray lives in New Hampshire and…oh, wait, this just in: Mary Josephine Ray has passed-away, just moments ago.

That means a 113-year-old man from Florida, Mr. Walter B. Smy- no, wait, word has just reached GraceLessLand that he, too, has just passed-on.

So, now 112-year-old Pru- no, damn, there she goes, too.

That leaves 111-year-old…ah, crap, forget it.

Japan’s Nancy Reagan

She knew Tom Cruise in a former life (he was Japanese). She “eats the Sun”. She rode to Venus on a triangle-shaped UFO (and says it’s very nice there). She is Miyuki Hatoyama, Japan’s new First Lady (or “Filst Rady” – sorry, no way to resist it). And she’s absolutely nuts. This woman can deny “pillowing” to the leader of the second largest economy on Earth. Perhaps those plans to let Japan have it’s own army again should be put on hold.

Japan's new Prime Minister and the Mrs. have their picture taken. Fortunately she wasn't invisible at the time.

Japan's new Prime Minister and the Mrs. have their picture taken. Fortunately she wasn't invisible at the time.