Maine Governor Apologizes For “Gestapo” Remark

Maine Governor Paul LePage has apologized to Jews, Germans, Americans, Latvians, Argentinians, Eskimo Peoples, dogs, cats, small rodents, and just about all other thinking, sentient, aware forms of life throughout the universe for saying the recent Supreme Court decision on the Affordable Care Act of 2010 will turn the Internal Revenue Service into a fascistic secret police organization.

LePage, who was elected in 2010 with support from the Tea Party (a group known for its reasoned and appropriate rhetoric), was making a speech Saturday when he said “This decision has made America less free. We the people have been told there is no choice. You must buy health insurance or pay the new Gestapo – the I.R.S.”

The Gestapo were of course the Geheime Staatspolizei, “Secret State Police”, of Nazi Germany. This organization was responsible only to the leadership of the Nazi Party – they were not bound by any courts, political organizations, or other civilian or military authority. The Gestapo was responsible for political murders, social “cleansing” operations, and the arrest and torture of individuals deemed antagonistic to the Nazi Party.

So it’s easy to see why LePage would immediately think of them when trying to describe the I.R.S.’s role in collecting taxes.

In his apology LePage said “It was not my intent to insult anyone, especially the Jewish Community, or minimize the fact that millions of people were murdered, but really, how can anyone think that’s worse than having a negro in the White House? And he’s not just answering the door or serving the soup! He’s making policy decisions!”

LePage finished his apology by saying he was sorry if he angered anyone who works at the I.R.S.: “Please, please, please don’t audit me! There’s no way my books can stand-up to an audit!”