Ahmadinejad Talks Octopus


Iranian President Ahmadinejad and Paul The Psychic Octopus square-off in an inter-species controversy

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad said in a speech in Tehran that Paul the Psychic Octopus is an agent of western imperialism, and that the sea creature is intent on destroying Islam. “The octopus hates Islam because it has no knees” the Iranian President said. “It cannot be a part of Islam because it cannot kneel to face Mecca. No knees, no Islam – it’s that simple.”

Ahmadinejad went on to question the sanity of westerners who believe the octopus could predict the outcome of World Cup games. “Those who believe in this type of thing cannot be the leaders of the global nations that aspire, like Iran, to human perfection, basing themselves in the love of all sacred values.” Values like murdering protesters in the streets just because “I may have committed a little election fraud to illegally remain in power. This is silly – George Bush did it in 2000, and you didn’t see anyone in Tehran taking to the streets over that.”

“This octopus is not that smart” Ahmadinejad continued. “I am almost as smart as this octopus. I predicted Iran would win the World Cup, and they did as far as anyone who watches only Iranian media knows.”