Boehner Resigns!

U.S. House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner has resigned for unknown reasons.

U.S. House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner has resigned for unknown reasons.

Pope Approves New “Child-Friendly” Vatican

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His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI has approved a new design for the Vatican that incorporates new “child-friendly” features such as the Sandusky Chapel that has a painted ceiling showing Elmo reaching out to a pubescent Adam.

Pope Complains About Belgian Child Abuse Raid

His Holiness Pope Benedict XVI said a raid on the Belgian offices of the Catholic Church Friday was “deplorable”. The Vatican alleges the tombs of two cardinals were “violated” as the police searched for evidence in child sexual abuse cases.

The Pope was especially distraught that the raid might cut-off the flow of child porn from Belgium, claiming “it’s the highest quality stuff – the children tend to be white which is much better than the brown and yellow kind you get from overseas”.

The Pope addresses the situation in Belgium from a window at the Vatican.