Don’t Tell Her DSL Is Slower Than Cable

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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Trump Pardons Racist Arizona Sheriff

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Nugent: Blacks Are Lazy, Dirty, And Talk Funny

(Click the image to read the full story at RawStory.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at RawStory.com)

Dinosaur rocker and NRA front-man Ted Nugent called into a right-wing radio talk show Tuesday to “reach out to black America” and inform them they are the primary cause of racism.  He said only “the blacks” can “solve the black problem”.

Nugent contends that racism ended in the 1960s when he started touring the U.S.: “Nothing of consequence existed to deter or compromise a black American’s dream if they got an alarm clock, if they set it, if they took good care of themselves, they remained clean and sober, if they spoke clearly, and they demanded excellence of themselves and provided excellence to their employers.”

So that’s all there is to it! If all you black people would stop sleeping-in, take showers, talk like mid-western radio announcers, and just do what the boss-man says all your problems would be solved!

At least he said “the black problem” and not “the black question” – although a close-up of that patch on his hat might put his words into the proper context.

NRAPatch

East Haven CT Mayor Apologizes For Taco Remark

East Haven. CT Mayor Joseph Maturo Jr. apologized to the Latino community "for the insensitive and off-color comment that I made". When asked what he will do for the Latino community due to FBI allegations of police misconduct and discrimination, Maturo quipped "I might have tacos when I go home, I'm not quite sure yet."

Speaker Mike O’Neal Proves There’s No Evolution In Kansas

Kansas House Speaker Mike O'Neal explains why calling Michelle Obama "Mrs. Yomama" is really, truly funny.

Kansas State Representative and Speaker of the Kansas House Mike O’Neal, holder of the second highest office in the state and a member of the Republican party, thinks calling Michelle Obama “Mrs. Yomama” and urging fellow Republicans to pray for President Obama’s death are the utmost in Holiday Cheer.

O’Neal sent an email to numerous recipients that had the words “Separated At Birth?” over an image of Jim Carey in his “Grinch” costume next to First Lady Michelle Obama. “I’m sure you’ll join me in wishing Mrs. YoMama a wonderful, long Hawaii Christmas vacation — at our expense, of course” the email read.

O’Neal apologized by saying “Cartoons are intended to be humorous. This one made me laugh — I’ve had bad hair days too. I forwarded it too quickly, missing the text included in the body of the mail. To those I have offended, I am sorry.”

Uh-huh.

O’Neal is, of course, the same Kansas representative who circulated an email that cites Psalm 109: “Let his days be few; and let another take his office. May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow.”

“At last — I can honestly voice a Biblical prayer for our president,” O’Neal added.

Email: so easy even a caveman can send it.

Cain Says Racism Isn’t Holding Anyone Back

GOP hopeful Herman Cain appeared on CNN's "State of the Union" with anchor Candy Crowley.

Herman Cain told CNN anchor Candy Crowley “I don’t believe racism in this country today holds anybody back in a big way,” on CNN’s “State of the Union”. “Are there some elements of racism? Yes. It gets back to if we don’t grow this economy, that is a ripple effect for every economic level, and because blacks are more disproportionately unemployed, they get hit the worst when economic policies don’t work.”

When asked why blacks were “more disproportionately unemployed” Cain said “well obviously because we don’t have the education white and Asian workers do – that’s why unemployment among blacks is roughly ten times greater than it is for whites or Asians.”

When asked why blacks don’t have the same educational levels as whites and Asians, Cain explained “well, whites because they’re, y’know, white. And everyone knows Asians are just smarter than other people – which makes the fact that they’re such lousy drivers kind of surprising.”

When asked how blacks might overcome this educational “anomaly”, Cain said “It takes money. Look at me – I’m a gazillionaire, and I never experience any racism. Green’s the color no one discriminates against. When black people say ‘But Mr. Cain, sir, we can’t all be gazillionaires like you’, well, that’s the kind of attitude that’s holding them back. Racism’s got nothing to do with it. There’s the problem, and that’s my solution.”

Iowa Minutemen Upset About School Security Drill

Here’s a story over on FoxNews.com about how some Iowa gun nuts are pissed-off with a school security exercise. Apparently the mock shooting scenario involves a racist student with a gun shooting another student.

Robert Ussery, state director of Iowa Minutemen said “I believe it’s politically motivated, it’s wrong and it’s a slap in the fact to any person that loves our country and is concerned about our border security.”

Let’s get Aristotelian here.

A: If you are going to go on a killing spree you probably own a gun, and if you own a gun you are probably pro-gun ownership.
B: If you are going on a racially motivated killing spree it’s a good guess you might be a racist.

I don’t think the implication is that all gun owners are insane racists, just that most insane racists are probably gun owners.

However, if you belong to an organization that is strongly opposed to illegal immigration, that “patrols” the border (I guess the one with Missouri) while armed, and that calls itself “Minutemen” (maybe it’s a sexual reference), the chances that you are a racist, gun-toting idiot are probably somewhere near 100%. You have to wonder what Mr. Ussery is against: the portrayal of a school shooter as a “Minuteman”-type crazy person, or the idea there is something wrong with shooting people who aren’t white.

Dr. Laura Apologizes For Using Racist Ephithet

Radio personality Laura Schlesinger apologized Friday for saying "nigger" several times on the air while trying to make a point about the use of the word "nigger". She should have used the for-some-reason-more-acceptable "n-word".