Romney Protested At NH Tea Party Rally

GOP presidential nomination contender Mitt Romney asks New Hampshire Tea Party members how to gain their support?

Mitt Romney faced protests at a Tea Party rally in New Hampshire Sunday. Members of Tea Party organization FreedomWorks demonstrated at the rally held by rival gang The Tea Party Express.

“He has not been consistently pro-market, pro-limited government, against government overreach. And that’s what we’re concerned about,” FreedomWorks President Matt Kibbe said. “Also he blinks a lot – have you noticed how much he blinks? It’s unnatural. And he seems very tall. And he hasn’t made any promises to cut the price of a gallon of gas. And he looks terrible in yellow.”

Members of the Express and FreedomWorks donned leather jackets and brandished switchblade knives as they engaged in a bloody melee. Cries of “No blinkers!” and “Yellow is a terrible color for ANYONE!” could be heard as the combatants squared-off in the parking lot at the rally.

Palin To Speak At Tea Party Rally

A young supporter poses a question to Ex-1/2-Alaska Governor Sarah Palin.

Potential GOP presidential nomination candidate Sarah Palin (R-Fantasyland) will speak at a Tea Party rally in Iowa on Saturday. Palin’s extended bus tour vacation will merely coincidentally be in the early primary battleground state at the time of the rally. This wasn’t planned months in advance. Really.

Liberals Stage Massive Rally At Lincoln Memorial

A coalition of over 400 Democrat and liberal political groups gathered at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC, in what was called an “antidote” to the Tea Party. All the signs being displayed were carefully spell-checked beforehand, and there were no depictions of national leaders as Hitler or evil clowns.

“We want to take back America” said one speaker, “as long as everyone agrees we should and no one’s feelings get hurt.”

Other speakers added their cries: “We shall overcome as long as everyone comes along”, “Please let us have more jobs”, and “If no one minds, I’d like to keep control of the Congress in 2010”.

Each speaker began with a long apology about how terrible they felt having to say such harsh things, and how they wouldn’t need to if “the conservatives would just be cool”.

A rare image of the crowd at the "One Nation Working Together" rally. Organizers didn't take many because they didn't want to appear to be showing off.