Minor Chicago Official Stirs-Up Big Controversy Over Reagan

Cook county, Illinois board president Toni Preckwinkle has drawn angry responses from Illinois GOP leaders after she said there should be a “special place in Hell” for former President Ronald Reagan because of his punitive approach to the “war” on drugs. Preckwinkle has been an outspoken proponent of treating drug issues as a public health problem, not a law enforcement problem.

Preckwinkle apologized for the comment later, saying she thought she was speaking “off the record” and thus implying the entire incident is somehow the media’s fault.

Issa Proposes Renaming Coastal Waters After Reagan

Representative Darrell Issa (R – Lake Elsinore CA) has proposed renaming the U.S. Exclusive Economic Zone, which extends from 3 miles offshore to 200 miles offshore, the Ronald Reagan Exclusive Economic Zone. Democrats have introduced similar legislation that would change Issa’s name to “Snot Vampire” – although GraceLessLand was unable to ascertain what the new name was in reference to.

Mubarak May Be Clinically Dead

Brutal Egyptian dictator Hosni Mubarak is seen here in happier times hanging-out with people who shared his values and beliefs.

Former Egyptian strongman Hosni Mubarak has reportedly been declared clinically dead at a hospital in Cairo after suffering a massive heart attack. However, sources in the Egyptian military dispute this claim, saying Mubarak is alive but in critical condition, kind of like Egypt.