Giuliani Stiffed On Cabinet Post

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

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Giuliani Falls On His Sword For The Republican Party

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

(Click the image to read the full story at CNN.com)

Perry Matches Romney In Polls Without Actually Running

Texas Governor Rick Perry explains his campaign strategy which he calls "MAD", or "Might Actually Do'er". "Do'er" is of course Texan slang for screwing a person or a country.

Texas Governor Rick Perry is just two polling points behind Mitt Romney in the latest CNN/ORC International poll. Of those Republicans and Independents who identify themselves as likely to vote for a Republican candidate 15 percent favor Perry, while 17 percent favor Romney. The poll has an error margin of more than 2% – making the two front-runners dead even.

“It’s the unknown factor X” one pollster said. “No one knows who the hell Rick Perry is, so he looks pretty good compared to the rest of the pack. There hasn’t been time for the media to smear him, and he hasn’t had enough national exposure to act like a moron in front of people.”

Former 1/2 Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani, and former sane person Rep. Ron Paul of Texas, are at 12 percent apiece. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich and former Australian pitchable-midget Rep. Michele Bachmann are so far behind they can’t even be seen on the horizon – not surprising considering they are only 2 feet tall.