American Hikers Freed From Captivity In Iraq

American hikers Josh Fattal and Shane Bauer have been released from prison in Iraq after posting $1 million in bri- err...BAIL.

Two American hikers who had been imprisoned in Iraq as spies were released Wednesday after over two years in captivity. Josh Fattal and Shane Bauer were arrested on the Iran/Iraq border and accused of being spies. A third hiker, Sarah Shourd, was released last year for “medical reasons”. Since then Shourd has tirelessly traveled nowhere near the Middle East as she spoke out in her companions’ defense.

The Sultan of Oman brokered the release of the pair in return for $1 million in bribe bail money, which was not paid by the U.S. “Those were completely different dollars we gave to Iran – they were nothing like the dollars the U.S. gave us” the Sultan said.

The release comes just a day before Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is due to speak at the United Nations General Assembly in New York, where no one is going to pay any more attention to him than they usually do.

Iranian officials said Fattal and Bauer had not actually been convicted of espionage as reported in the global media, but instead were held for “psychiatric evaluation. I mean who would go hiking along our border with Iraq but a bunch of lunatics?”

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